I’ve been asked by publisher Colin Gawel to formulate the official Pencil Storm response to the Covid-19 crisis, so here goes: I’m 67 years old, I’m on my second cardiac pacemaker, I’ve got prostate cancer, so I certainly fall solidly into that High Risk Group we keep hearing so much about, but I happen to not be overly afraid of coronavirus. I’m certainly not going to be stupid: I’ve been washing my hands incessantly; I put my routine 6-month cardiologist appointment back to May because I’m always by far the healthiest person in that particular waiting room; and I’m staying out of crowds. But largely my attitude towards Covid-19 is framed by old blues songs, i.e.: “For (choose one, or two, if you’re feeling extravagant) cheap whiskey/cocaine/evil women/young girls/32.20’s, I’ve got a bad yen / The doctor says it’s gonna kill me, but he won’t say when.”

To put it another way, with historical perspective: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. (And no, I wasn’t around to hear that FDR speech first-hand in 1933. I’m old enough to have seen The Doors and Jimi Hendrix live, but not FDR.) I’m willing to be mindful of Covid-19, but refuse to be afraid of it. I’d rather live one day on my feet than 20 years on my knees. What, you thought you were gonna live forever? Apropos of that, during this Public Health Crisis, try to spread a little good feeling (and cash) around: if you do go out to eat, tip your carry-out person BIG; pay for the order of the person behind you in line; stop in at Colin’s Coffee - or any other small business you frequent - and get coffee & a sandwich to go, etc. (blogger’s note: I have absolutely NO fiduciary interest in Colin’s Coffee, just to eliminate any considerations of bias, profiteering and/or conflict of interest.)

In a larger sense, try to do something nice for the people around you: if there are older people in your community see if you can go to the store for them; find a creative way to take some of the pressure off parents whose kids aren’t able to attend school during the pandemic (for that matter, try to avoid using the word “pandemic” like I just did); if you know of a millennial who actually enjoys the “music” of Imagine Dragons, send them downloads of The MC5, Mott The Hoople and The Dictators to try to bring them to their senses and to inject some class into their lives and their rock & roll.

In closing, let me say this so there’s no questions/accusations of irony later owing to my smart-ass attitude: I fully expect to contract Covid-19 at some point. I also fully expect to survive it and become a better person in the process. Just like Bonnie Franklin and Valerie Bertinelli I’m gonna take this one day at a time. There’s chocolate AND lemon Hostess cupcakes in the pantry; I’m stocked up on peanut butter, Lay’s potato chips, skim milk and Mountain Dew, so all is right with the world. In a few minutes I’m gonna go rev up Ian Hunter’s live album “Welcome To The Club” on the CD player and the Covid-19 virus can go hang. - Ricki C. / 3/19/2020.

And since you’re probably staying home this Saturday night, here’s some medical videos to help pass the time:

(credit where credit is due department: I got the idea for these videos from my friend Rob Husted in a Covid-19 e-mail exchange)

First up, Humble Pie with the 7-inch single edit of this tune, because 3-minute songs are ALWAYS better than 9-minute songs.

(note, full version of this song posted below, guitar solos by later soft-rock wimp Peter Frampton when he was still a ROCKER!)

One more from Humble Pie…..(why were these guys always so feverish but simultaneously felt it necessary to spurn doctors?)..…

Great Who tune when they were still a power-pop band, b-side of “Pictures Of Lily.” I’ve loved this song since I was 15 years old…

Absolute BEST media advice I have gotten about Covid-19; wash your hands for 20 seconds, the amount of time it takes to sing the chorus of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.” Here’s the original, followed by one of my favorite cover versions of any song ever…..

(BTW, my three favorite country songs of all time are this one, “The Race Is On” by George Jones & Johnny Cash’s “Ring Of Fire”)

As his guitar tech I would never hand Colin a guitar as out-of-tune as Jack White’s is here, but he’s STILL great…….

As promised above, the full 9-minute version of “I Don’t Need No Doctor” for the musical masochists amongst us…..

ps. The psychic as well as physical toll the coronavirus crisis has wrought on all of us was brought home to me while I was shaving this morning. I had that New Albany classic rock radio station 101.7 tuned in on my bathroom boombox radio rather than my usual 102.5, because I knew Brian Phillips wouldn’t be entertaining me on the weekend. (Sometimes these days the Trending Topics segment of his Morning Show is the only time I laugh out loud in any given 24-hour period.) Anyway, the first song on 101.7 was Bob Seger’s “Night Moves.” I made it through that, but then we went from the Classic Rock Frying Pan Into The Fire when Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” was the next tune played AND I DIDN’T TURN THE RADIO OFF! It was in that moment I realized the emotional damage Covid-19 has dealt to me these last couple of weeks: anytime I don’t turn off the radio when Bob Seger segues into ANY Led Zep song that isn’t “Good Times Bad Times” or “Communication Breakdown” indicates severe mental distress. My lovely wife Debbie talked me down from going to the emergency room, but I’m calling my doctor Monday morning. - Ricki C. / 3/21/2020.