Blow My Face Up Before It Breaks
Listen while you read.. Blow My Face Up Before It Breaks
I’m not big on dates. I have no talent for remembering birthdays or anniversaries or big events and the like. Just not my thing. But I do remember the exact date I unexpectedly got 53 stitches in my face.
I arrived at my appointment a little early that morning and decided to kill a little time at the Best Buy located right next to the doctor’s office.
They had just unlocked the doors and when I walked in I ran into fellow Columbus rocker Chuck Oney who said “Hell yeah! I thought you might show up to get Paul’s new CD!”
Me, “Hell yeah! Why else would I be out here in the burbs???” Fist bump.
Actually, I had no idea Paul Stanley (KISS) had a new release scheduled for that day, but if I had known, I probably would have made the special trip. I loved his first solo record.
So back to the date I got 53 stitches in my face. I know it was October 24th, 2006 because I bought a copy of Live to Win by Paul Stanley on the day it was released. Thanks Wiki.
So I get in the waiting room and I am surrounded by people who have some pretty serious face/skin cancer related issues. Listening to people talk, most were here to attempt to repair a previous surgery gone wrong at a different office. Most seemed to come from small towns outside Columbus. This made me sad to hear but I guess I felt good that for my first go around I seemed to be in the right spot.
Speaking of spots, I had a small spot on the upper right side of my nose. Lucky for me it was diagnosed as Basal skin cancer which is more of a nuisance than anything. If it were on my arm, they would just dig it out. But since it was on my nose it took a very steady hand to complete this operation.
Still, as I understood it, it would be a quick Mose procedure where they burn it out with lasers or some high-tech device. Easy peasy.
So they numbed me up, and I smelt burning flesh and felt some heat as doctors in masks wearing goggles stood over me. After a break they explained they had to examine the sample to see if they got it all.
After 10 minutes, they came back and said we have to go back in, but this should be it. Same thing…heat..burning smell… and after 10 minutes they came back and said it’s much deeper than they thought, they have to go back in. I do remember the concerned looks and the smell of my burning flesh one final time. The heat was painful the 3rd time around.
Alas, this time they came back and said they got it all. Sweet, I started to lean up in the chair and said thanks fellas, guess I will be seeing you around..
“Not so fast. If it were just your arm we could plug it up with some putty but since it’s a hole in your nose, we don’t recommend that solution.”
“What do you recommend?”
“Well, we can make an incision in your cheek, pull the skin up over the hole, and stitch it up covering the wound. It will heal and eventually you won’t even notice it. If we plug it you will see it forever.”
This was way more than I had bargained for leaving the house that morning. I just asked simply, “What do you think I should do?”
“I know it’s going to be uncomfortable in the short term, but I would get the procedure to cover it.”
I trust experts and do not trust my own research. I didn’t hesitate. “Let’s do it.”
Or put another way, “Cut me, Mick!”
So 53 stitches later, I AM DRIVING MYSELF home on the highway and as the local anesthetic wears off and I was hitting the steering wheel in agony. My eyes were watering and my face was on fire. It never even occurred to me that I might want to get a ride home.
When I walked in my house I looked like I had gone two rounds with Ivan Drago before Rocky threw in the towel and saved my life. My wife gasped when she saw me. My three year old son Owen promptly fired a nerf football off the side of my nose sending me to the ground in a fetal position of pain. I never saw it coming. He just wanted to play catch.
So fast forward to 2024. The surgery 18 years ago was a success and you cannot see the scar on my face without a magnifying glass. However, recently, there were traces of a return. Nothing urgent, nothing life threatening, but action needed to be taken.
In this case it was a preventative, topical chemotherapy crème that finds the bad cells and burns them out before they can grow and require surgery. However, it does make me look like Ace Frehley without make-up. I don’t feel like I am a very vain person in general but the double takes are humbling. I understand. I would take a second glance too.
Folks at the coffee shop have been kind and ask, “Does it hurt?” Not really. It’s a little uncomfortable but mostly it only hurts my pride. And I am used to that feeling. Ha! But seriously, and I am thankful to whatever nerds invented this lotion, hopefully sparing me the smell of burning flesh and more stitches in the near future.
Yeah, it is smart to see a dermatologist once in a while. And listen to your mother. Put on that sunscreen!
Colin Gawel wrote this at Colin’s Coffee and he plays in the band Watershed. Their latest record is called Blow It Up Before It Breaks. The title track sounds like it could have been written about skin cancer but that is only a coincidence.