Do the Browns Resemble a Benny Hill Skit? The NCP go to London to Investigate.

London Calling for the North Coast Posse

Colin: I think it's awesome you guys shipped the NCP Browns Party Gremlin across the Atlantic Ocean so you could tailgate properly.  Seeing other sights while you are in London?

Big$: Full disclosure, K-dubs and I are in negotiations to get a half hour (or halfe houre as they say across the pond) show on the BBC titled "Pencil Storm Gremlin Talk." Some suits at the network are concerned that some of our anti-Beatle rants from the past may surface and derail it, so we're here smoothing things over. It's a coincidence that the Browns are also playing.

Colin: Not to put a damper on your roadtrip across the pond but.... Carson Wentz, Jared Goff and Deshaun Watson are all tearing up the NFL while Kenny Britt is taking Deshone Kizer out to tear up the bars. Meanwhile the Browns were already the worst team in the league before losing their All Pro tackle / ironman Joe Thomas. I think I ask this question every year, but is right now, the lowest point in Browns history? 

K-Dubs, the Soldier: Yes.  This is the lowest point I can remember.  It is disappointing to now think of 3-13 seasons as halcyon days.  

Big$:  I think expectations play heavily into the depth of certain situations. I had next to no hope for this team going into the season, so it's hard to feel real low about where they are at. Plus, I think there are some pieces in defense that may be bright spots. For me, watching grown men parade around in Manziel jerseys, convincing themselves that he had an inkling of NFL talent will always be the low point.

Colin: The NFL is trying to create excitement in England, are the Browns the right team to be showcasing American football to a bunch of futball hooligans?

Big$:   The Browns offense quite often resembles a Benny Hill skit, so this may be just what the Dr. ordered for NFL/England relations.

Colin: Do you see anything positive on the field?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:   I am still liking the defense.  A lot of media attention has focused on how rookie safety Jabrill Peppers plays excessively deep, but these commentators are missing out on how well the rest of the defensive back field is playing.  Jason McCourty is rated as one of the top cornerbacks in the league, and Briean Boddy-Calhoun and Derrick Kindred are becoming fan favorites.  Linebackers Kirksey and Schobert are having good seasons, too.  We just need Miles Garrett to stay on the field so we can ratchet up pressure on the quarterback.  On the offensive side, positivity is harder to find.  Part of the problem is that Hue Jackson has to give up play-calling duties.  He continues to baffle with deep throws on 3rd-and-short situations and failing to get the electrifying Duke Johnson any more than 7 touches per game.  He and his staff have also failed to curtail the penalties that have killed offensive momentum on countless possessions (notice I didn’t say drives).  I still have faith in the development of Kizer but Hue has got to stick with him for better or worse, in good times and bad, until Jimmy do them part.

Big$:  I referenced some defensive pieces earlier and I'll cite Carl Nassib specifically. His emergence is especially interesting as I have grave concerns about Garrett's commitment and durability. Not to incite the PC police, but self-reporting concussion symptoms on Tuesday doesn't scream "football guy to build on" to me.

Colin: October is usually the time Browns fans start thinking about the upcoming NFL Draft. Any hope on the horizon?

Big$:   It's obvious that the lingering QB issue is still a question. At this point, I think Darnold goes back to USC and Josh Allen (Wyoming) seems to be a fraud. Rosen (UCLA) looks like the real deal, but I'm not sure the brash outspoken Cali kid model would fit in the 216. Therefore, I'm for drafting Barkley and trading for or signing an under the radar QB already in the league.

Colin: Will Hue survive the Browns and if not who would possibly want this job?

Big$:   I think Jimmy will stick it out with the Baseball bunch and Hue for another year because of A.) Rich dude Pride and B.) Ain't no one taking this job. I myself, would’ve fired everybody already. The culture is so toxic at 1-23 that I'm not sure that any leadership position can be salvaged.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:   I agree Hue keeps his job, but only because Jimmy has blown his coaching staff up so many times in the past and the changes have yet to bear fruit.  In the immortal words of Great White, “Once bitten, twice shy.”  (editor's note: Hey, that's the immortal words of Ian Hunter, Dubs.)  There has got to be a change in the front office, though.  

Colin: Who would Lebron start for this week?

Big$:  I'm starting Lebron at head coach, Hue needs a break.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:   GM Sashi Brown.  LeBron brought Derrick Rose and D-Wade to town.  Sashi did not even rate Wentz in his top 15 quarterbacks of last year’s draft, essentially spent $12 million for a second-round pick in the trade for Brock Osweiler, who he then cut and received nothing in return, passed on Deshaun Watson in this year’s draft, signed Kenny Britt, and has forgotten that you need at least a few quality veterans on your team to win.   

The North Coast Posse cover the Browns for Pencilstorm. They are a Top 5 Follow on Twitter. follow @northcoastposse

Big $ Checks in from Indianapolis before Browns v Colts

The Browns are road favorites for the first time since 2014. To mark the occasion, Big $ took the North Coast Posse Gremlin West on I-70 to watch the game at a bar close to Lucas Oil Field. The following report was filed on his cellphone from The Whistle Stop Inn two hours before kick off. 

The Browns enter a stretch of four games that look to be competitive. What has to go right to beat the Colts this weekend?

Big $ - "Competitive" is such a relative word in Browns land. If they play with the mental acumen of a codeine laced juggalo as they did this past week, they would not win the MAC east. It does not  take much to deflate the sheerest glimpses of optimism that we are afforded as Browns fans and the Ravens game left plenty of holes for air to escape, The only factor that I think would lead to a victory this Sunday is if the Colts commit more significant mistakes.

Corey Coleman is injured again and the ghost of T Pryor is looming larger by the minute. Has anybody figured out we paid Kenny Britt instead of TP?

Big $ - I have not combed through Kenny Quit's advanced stats, but I am assuming that  he must have some Joey Votto like sabre metrics going on to have pulled the wool over the money ball boys' eyes the way he did. When you have grand canyon sized space in your salary cap, you don't let the only playmaker on your offense walk, no matter how big of an S.O.B.  Drew Rosenhaus is.

Kizer left the game with a headache. Is this troubling?

Big $  I know that playing the role of "Mr. Football Guy" in today's P.C. world is very unpopular, but I am quite wary of a Rookie with much to prove taking a few quarters off for a migraine. I'm no doctor, but if a headache is severe enough to excuse yourself, MID GAME, from your $800,000 a year job quarterbacking the Browns offense, you should probably spend the rest of the day in a dark room.  I think there is room for concern in this case.

OK, it's time, who should Lebron start for this week?

Big $ -  Literally, I do not know if there is one current starter at any position on the Browns who i am confident would be better than Lebron

What are you eating right now?

Big $ - These breakfast nachos are pretty awesome though the syrup mixed with salsa takes some getting used too. I slipped in a couple Hilltop Lagers just to save some cash for the ride homw.

Return of the North Coast Posse. Browns v Steelers

@Northcoastposse are considered a Top 5 twitter follow by the real Cleveland Browns.

Q:  Before diving into the upcoming Browns season, everybody is talking about the big beef between you guys and Bomani Jones in the off season. What happened there?

Big$: Well, it appears I was just peripheral damage in the Bomani Jones scandal. The real beef began on a trip Mr. Jones made to Columbus. He encountered an "over saturated" Ben Galli at the 4 String taproom and they engaged in a heated two-and-a-half hour debate over who is better: Avery Bradley or Kentavious Caldwell Pope (we at Pencilstorm sports all support KCP). The argument ended with B. Galli reminding Bo that he was replaced on air in Big 10 country by an SEC talk show. Since then he has had an online axe to grind with p.storm.

Q:  So it looks like we are starting the Kizer era. What are your expectations on this offense?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I think Kizer was a steal as a third-round pick in this year’s draft.  He has a strong arm and moves well in the pocket.  At least in the preseason, he did not show the happy-footed tendency of many young quarterbacks to tuck the ball and run when the first or second option is not open.  He keeps his eyes down field, but he still has the mobility to make a play with his legs when needed.  The two most promising things about him so far are his ability to deliver the ball on the money and throw receivers open, and, according to all reports, he is putting in the study time outside of practice to master Coach Jackson’s offense.   

The Browns also made solid investments in the line, signing center JC Tretter and right guard Kevin Zeitler to help protect Kizer.  Like with any young QB, the Browns will likely focus on running the ball and the new additions to the front five should help with that, as well.   

Big$:  My expectations for the offense would be much higher if TP was here to act as a playmaking crutch for Deshone.  I think the aggressive defense will be exciting, however it's also going to make some mistakes which will leave the O playing catch up. Im not sure this group is ready for that.

Q:  Since we money-balled T Pryor out of town, does this team have the necessary wide outs to help the rookie quarterback?

Big$:  As I've already mentioned, I'm mourning the TP loss. I think Corey Coleman has some playmaking ability, but between Ricardo Louis and Sammie Coates there are some serious hands issues. Last time I checked, catching is kind of important as a receiver. I’m concerned about this current crop and am already penciling in that monster we just saw from Indiana University (Simmie Cobbs) in as a Browns draft pick in the near future.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  This is the biggest question mark for the team as a whole.  The receiver unit has yet to show the ability to separate from coverage consistently.  Coach Jackson is going to have to scheme hard to open up the offense.  

Q: What should we expect from the 2017 Browns defense led by new psychotic DC Gregg Williams?

Big$: Well, expectations have to change with the news that Myles Garrett is out for about four weeks with a high ankle sprain. However, I believe that will give them a chance to highlight the secret weapon, aka Carl Nassib. I really expect him to shine, as well as his other Big 10 brethren, Joe Schobert, who is now starting at middle linebacker. As a group, I expect to see tenacity which will be fun to watch, but I also expect the aggressive exuberance to lead to mistakes and missed assignments. Growing pains, but exciting growing pains.

K-Dubs, the Soldier: Expect a lot of improvement on the defensive side of the ball.  Williams is known for his aggressive, attacking style of defense.  In the preseason, the most promising result I saw from Williams’ influence was that the defensive backs are making tackles at, and sometimes behind, the line of scrimmage.  Better support from the corners and safeties against the run should lessen the times the Browns get gashed outside the tackles, which has plagued them in the last few years.  With last week’s releases of fan-favorite Joe Haden (for financial reasons) and offseason acquisition Calvin Pryor (for fighting a teammate), though, they are thin at DB.  So hopefully Williams’ scheme won’t subject that unit to fatigue and injury.  Also, the Browns have built more quality depth on the defensive front.  Once Myles Garrett and Danny Shelton return from injury, I think the sack numbers will go up and the opponent’s third-down conversion rate will drop.

Is Jabrill Peppers already the best player on this defense?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  Not even.  He is a nice addition, and he has ball-hawking skills a la Troy Palomalu or the Honey Badger, but his biggest impact this year should be on special teams.  The Browns have been hurting in the return game since Josh Cribbs left town.  The inability to flip field position on a big return, or even field a punt consistently, has certainly contributed to some of the many losses the Browns have suffered in the last few years.  Peppers has an explosiveness that should improve the average starting field position for this young offense.  That said, he should be a solid, regular presence in the defensive backfield, but he still ranks behind Shelton and Garrett, and linebackers Jamie Collins and Christian Kirksey.

Big$:  I don't think Peppers has unseated Collins as the best player on the D......yet. He has definitely shown the propensity for electric playmaking already and I can't wait to see him get after it.

Q:  Is Myles Garrett ready to live up to his #1 overall hype?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  Yep … so long as he stays healthy.  Garrett is a physical freak born to smash QBs and he has shown he can play the run down the line of scrimmage.  No matter what happens with other top-5 draft picks from this year’s draft, the Browns could not pass on this dude.  He is already starting and was making plays in the preseason.

Q:  Who else on this team do you expect to have an impact?

Big$:  I literally believe that new center JC Tretter will be the most impactful player on the team. It's not a sexy pick but all you have to do is track Alex Mack's last few years for how important JC may be. I also think Cam Erving's absence will be quite impactful.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I think this roster simply has more impact players overall compared to the last few years, but I expect breakout seasons from Schobert, who is a playmaker at middle linebacker, and Emmanuel Ogbah at defensive end.  

Q:  If the Browns could upset the Steelers in week one, would that make the season a success?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  In Trump-anese, “It would be yooouuuuuugggeee.”    That would really set the momentum in the right direction and could precipitate more early wins, but a single victory against Pittsburgh wouldn’t make the season a success in and of itself.  

Q:  Vegas has the Browns at 4.5 wins. Do you like the over or under?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  The NCP has nailed this question the last few years.  With games against the Jets, Jags, Bears, Chargers, and a Week 3 game against the Colts, which will likely still be missing Andrew Luck, I am feeling the over in 2017.

Big$:  I'm a Browns fan, I always take the under.

NCP Draft Preview: Big $ Attacks His TV if the Browns take Deshaun Watson

Did you know that Pencilstorm's own North Coast Posse are considered a top five twitter follow by the actual Cleveland Browns? Well they are. Follow their draft coverage @northcoastposse . I recently met up with Big $ at the India Oak bar to get his thoughts on the upcoming NFL Draft. - Colin Gawel

CG) Let's address the elephant in the room. Are there any quarterbacks in this draft that can be the next Bernie Kosar and if yes, how will the Browns land him? 

 Big $: My initial thought was a definitive no, then my phone kept autocorrecting Kosar to "Kizer" and I thought it may be a sign. Then I thought about D. Kizer's questionable mechanics and Ohio ties and how they are both Kosar -esque. Then I escaped the daydream and recalled the several N.D. games I witnessed and how there is very little chance Deshone Kizer is going to succeed in the NFL. Shooting for Bernie II may be a stretch, I'll take a freaking Eric Zeier at this point.

CG) Is Garrett the next JJ Watt or the next Courtney Brown?

 Big $: The player I most align Garrett with is Jadaveon Clowney. The one thing that separates Myles from Clowney is that he put up 10 more reps of 225 at the combine than the former Gamecock. Not only is this a plus as it relates to strength, it shows that he is ahead in dedication category as well. I have a hard time believing the ultra grizzled Gregg Williams is not going to demand the Aggie phenom at #1.

CG) What players and needs would you like to see addressed?

Big$: Real talk, there is not one position I think is a legit strength on the Browns at this time. They need to ensure that they get solid contributors across the board in at least the first 4 rounds

CG) What pick would make you throw something at the TV, hold your head in your hands and scream, "Oh my God, Nooooo"

Big $: I will literally attack my t.v, if I hear that the name  "Deshaun Watson" is coming to Cleveland. The dude has a historically low exit velocity. With the tight Windows and super heroes playing defense in the NFL coupled with the lack of anticipation needed to run the Clemson spread, he is a disaster waiting to happen.

CG) Vegas has started betting on the NFL draft. Seems like a blatant attempt to bring Browns fans to Vegas once a year since they don't make the Super Bowl junket. Does betting on the draft hold any interest for the North Coast Posse? 

 I would love, love, love to hunker down at a Vegas sportsbook and bet on picks all weekend. Who will have more first picks, Big10 or Pac12? Christian Mcaffrey pick over/under (8.5) etc etc etc. I'm salivating just thinking about how awesome this would be.

CG) If not in Vegas, where are you guys watching the draft and what will you be drinking?

Big $: Im waiting on an invite to the Trubisky party, but as a native west sider, I expect I'll get the cold shoulder from the Mentor crew. Thus, I'll probably crack some 4 string brews and kick back in my living room.

Big$ and K-Dubs the Soldier are the North Coast Posse. Browns beat writers for Pencilstorm.

The NCP Responds to Browns' State-of-the-Dawg-Pound Address

Follow @northcoastposse.  The NCP are a top five Browns twitter follow

With Big$ out completing his community service this week, K-Dubs, the Soldier responds to the Browns call for the Dawg Pound to "Keep Calm and Bark On."

After its fairly stunning silence during a 0-10 start, the Browns front office held a State-of-the-Team address this week.  The team’s executive vice president Sashi Brown met with the beat writers, trying to reassure them that this disappointing season, which has reached lows previously unseen in franchise history, is simply a part of “The Process.”  Sashi told us the culture truly is changing in Berea and that soon the world will witness the resurrection of the Browns.  Coach Hue Jackson echoed that sentiment this week, admonishing other teams to get their licks in now, because the Browns are going to be Kings of North soon.  What else could they say?  Sure, nobody expected to be winless, yada yada, but evolution is afoot.  It was all monotone platitudes, and while I listened, I recalled Dana Carvey’s impression of President George H.W. Bush: “Stay the course. A thousand points of light.  Stay the course.” 

Here is a response to this banality from a proud member of the Dawg Pound: Excuse my doubt, but what the hell am I missing?!  Of course there was going to be a change of culture from last year.  The past few seasons the front office and coaching staff did not [or could not] work together.  The result was a team that had a roster with players that did not fit the coach’s system. 

Owner Jimmy Haslem responded by creating a completely new structure of governance and placing a focus on finding value players rather than high-priced free agents.  No doubt these changes would create a new culture, but the time has long passed to show us what this different and more-cohesive vision means on the field.  The defense ranks 31st in yards and points per game and 23rd in sacks.  The team has a minus-5 turnover margin, and the offense has an average time-of-possession that is 6:37 minutes less than opponents.  How is that for analytics?

When the season started, I was optimistic that we would begin to see some flashes of forthcoming glory for the new, new Browns, even though I was fairly certain that a 5-win season would be a stretch.  My outlook persisted after some early-year losses in which the team was generally competitive but came up short in tight games.  Things just seem to have gotten worse lately, though.  In the second half against the Cowboys two weeks ago, the offense gained just 33 yards in a deflating defeat.  Then, last week against the Ravens, they had to call a timeout before the very first play of the game because there were 12 defenders on the field.  On the first play!  The D then forced a punt and the two returners, Duke Johnson and Joe Haden, ran into each other and nearly fumbled the ball. 

When you see things like this it is so hard to maintain hope.  Where is this change?  To quote recent campaign ads, we're getting "more of the same."  I will keep carrying the torch for now, but patience is getting low.  So when the Browns kick off at home this Sunday against the Steelers, I will be watching and cheering (and drinking Four String Brewing’s Skeleton Red Rye IPA).  What else can I say?

So what are the keys to victory this week?:

The Browns are going to be playing two opponents on Sunday, Pittsburgh and the weather.  The forecast for kickoff is 35 degrees with a chance of rain and flurries, and wind gusts up to 50 mph!  This may cause havoc for Browns QB Cody Kessler, whose arm is not the strongest.  Coach Jackson pulled Kessler out against the Ravens because he was not pushing the ball down field, but in this wind, I imagine keeping routes short may serve the team better.  Cleveland may have a better chance to get the ground game going against the Steelers, too, because DE and former Buckeye standout Cam Heyward is out with a torn pectoral muscle.  The offense needs to get Isaiah Crowell running downhill to eat up some clock and keep the ball away from Ben Roethlisberger. The harsh winds will also likely cause problems in the kicking game, so field position will be at a premium this week.

Speaking of Big Ben, he did miss a game last month with a torn meniscus, and hopefully that injury, coupled with the harsh lakefront weather, will limit his mobility this week.  He is not known as a runner obviously, as he resembles a competitive eater more than he does a track star, but he is one of the all-time greats at avoiding sacks and keeping plays alive by scrambling.  If the Browns really want to exhibit a change in culture, getting some sacks and putting opponents in 3rd-and-long situations more often would certainly help.  Recently acquired OLB Jamie Collins will have another week of practice in this system under his belt, too, and he is a playmaker that should help the Browns improve its 3rd-down conversion rate, which is 50 percent for the year.

Of course, there is another force of nature at play in all-world wideout Antonio Brown.  Over the years, he has had huge games against Haden, much like he has against every other DB in the league.  He is probably going to get his catches and yards this Sunday.  Cleveland’s chances of winning are tied then to how well the team contains all the other playmakers for Pittsburgh.  They need to limit yards-after-contact for RB La’Veon Bell, who is also a threat to catch the ball out of the backfield (45 rec., 360 yds.), and keep the ball away from the tight ends, which have killed the Browns this year.  If they can pull it all together, a win over the hated Steelers would be a rare bright spot in The Process.

Rookie Stars Return for Browns Still Searching for First Win; The NCP Take Questions for Week 9

Still nursing their hangovers from Game 7 of the World Series, the NCP fields your Week 9 Browns questions.

1) Getting Jamie Collins for a 3rd-round pick seems a little too good to be true. What’s the catch?

Big$:  Hard to say how this trade will bust, but with the Browns track record, odds most likely will be defied. With that said, one way to utilize an abundance of picks is to try and get lucky through trades. It’s pretty clear the lb corps are in desperate need of help, so unless we find out Collins is shacking with Johnny fb at The Nine, he is a value add (#analytics).

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I am not sure what the catch is.  There were rumors this week that Collins is lazy, that Bill Belicheck needed to shake up his locker room to maintain his team’s focus, and that this trade was simply a pre-emptive salary dump by the Patriots.  Whatever the reason, I like this trade.  Collins is a playmaker that can make tackles in the running game, sack the quarterback, and defend the pass.  The Browns’ D needs help in all of these areas.  I am not sure how many snaps he will get this week, but this is a positive move for Cleveland, who would be hard-pressed to find a guy in the 3rd round as good as Collins anyway.

2) Speaking of catch, when is Corey Coleman coming back and who is the starting QB this week?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  Coleman is returning to the lineup this week for the first time since catching 5 balls for 104 yards and 2 touchdowns against the Ravens in week 2.  He had broken his hand in practice that following week. Cody Kessler is also going to start at quarterback today, returning from a concussion.  The offensive lineup has been such a patchwork all year because of injuries, but with Coleman and Kessler on the field, this could be a preview of the Browns future.

3) An 0 -16 season is starting to creep into the picture. Could Hue’s seat get hot before he gets a chance to rebuild with all these draft picks?

Big$:  So help me God, if they make a change, I’m done FOR GOOD. You can put that in writing. Let the Harvard guys do their thing and trust the frigging process.

4) Speaking of the draft, what are the positions of need that need to be addressed sooner than later?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  The defensive backfield.  The play of the DBs has been so inconsistent this year.  Joe Haden has missed a ton of games the last few years, and with few exceptions he has not had many good games when healthy.  The Browns also need a center.  Cam Erving, who was a 1st-round pick last year, has gotten a pass because of his inexperience, but the more time he’s on the field, the more it looks like he just can’t hang. 

Big$:  Defense, Defense, Defense. I think a franchising of Collins is in play, so I expect the play to be outside - in. ( DB to DL). Conventional wisdom used to believe D lines made secondaries (2015 Panthers), however I think the opposite is being shown to be true (2016 Panthers).

5) Let’s give LeBron a week off, who should a member of the Tribe start for this week?

Big$:  Speaking of secondaries, I’m starting Frankie L. at cornerback. Kid is clutch and doesn’t let anything get by him ( honorable mention to letting Tito take the Head Coaching reigns).

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  So many good choices, but I have to go with Rajai Davis.  His two-run homer off of Chapman to send the game into extra innings was as clutch as anything has ever been.  The Browns are a young team that needs to learn how to win.  Rajai would bring some of that swag.

6) Other than Zeke coming back to Ohio, how much do you hate the Cowboys?

Big$:  I’m nothing if not loyal to my Cleveland roots. Garrett is a Cleveland guy. Plus, I love their O line play. We’ve had enough to hate about the Browns over the last decade to worry about hating other teams*
(* except the Bengals, I hate the freaking Bengals)

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  Couldn’t agree less.  I hate every team that is not the Browns.  Sorry to say that includes Zeke now, too.  This week is really about the return of Coleman and Kessler.