Watershed Rankings Day 1 - The Bottom 11 by Nick Jezierny

Originally published in 2015 - Watershed plays Columbus August 9-10-11 in the year 2019. Click here for details.

Find and play these songs on Spotify! 

This six-part series is the brainchild of Nick Jezierny, a former sports journalist who has worked at newspapers in Ohio (including the Columbus Dispatch), Texas and Idaho, and who obviously occasionally has too much time on his hands.  

(Comments on the rankings by Colin Gawel, Joe Oestreich & Ricki C. will be sprinkled liberally throughout the piece, and some videos will be thrown into the mix.)

Criteria: I took 66 Watershed songs from the major releases, beginning with Twister. I started this probably a few weeks after the release of Hitless Wonder. I was driving to Whitefish, Montana from my current home in Boise, Idaho for a vacation. On the trip, I listened to every Watershed song on random shuffle. It’s a 12-hour trip from Boise, so that definitely helped make the drive less painful. Anyway, two songs get reviewed twice because of the different versions ("Black Concert T-Shirt" and "If That’s How You Want It"). I took into account live versions of songs because “Three Chords II” is such a great record it wouldn’t be fair to rule out live songs. (Seriously, do you EVER hear the studio version of Peter Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do?”) The live versions of some Watershed songs totally make them sky-rocket up on my list. Here we go, I’m sending these in groups of 11 so the list will last six days on Pencilstorm, should it be approved for publication.

Day 1 (The Bottom 11)

Studio Stuff (66): Total cop out, but let’s face it, no Watershed song deserves to be called the worst Watershed song, right? This isn’t really a song, just a bunch of noise that separates the good stuff on “Star Vehicle” from the rest.

Didn’t Exactly Lie (65): A little too country and slow for my liking, and the song is just too damn long.

Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn It Loose (64): This probably should have been recorded by the League Bowlers. Just doesn’t work for Watershed that well.

Colin G. - Just to clear things up, the previous two songs were never considered actual studio tracks. To make a boring story just as boring, at one point the record Star Vehicle was changing labels and we had the masters in our hand for exactly one night so we decided to slip on a couple of B-sides before it went out to be re-pressed. The art work kind of makes them look like they belonged but "Star Vehicle" as intended was only ten songs. The bonus tracks were added as a sweetener for people who had already bought a copy. All three songs were recorded at Captured Live studios in Durham, NC where we spent a week and cut about 10 demos. Only these tracks have ever seen the light of day outside of Biggie's iPod.

Click here for info on The League Bowlers "Some Balls". The lost Watershed record.

What Would I Need You For (63): This is where the list gets hard. This song really could be 20 places higher, but for me, it’s the low point on the debut record.

I’ve Been Looking Everywhere / Born To Run (62): I love the song “Born To Run,” and if you’re going to cover it, give it some of your own personality. Needs a little Watershed-ification. The “I’ve Been Looking Everywhere” part is interesting and I gained appreciation for it while seeing it performed live at Slim’s in Raleigh, N.C., last year.

Colin G. I don't know how much more personality you can give Born To Run than taking a song originally cut as a Spector wall of sound rip-off and doing it as a three piece garage band. Just the song and no frills. I suspect Little Steven would love this version. And the fact we just slipped it in on the end of the record, spliced to another track….

Watch This! Live December 2012

Don’t Give A Damn (61): I’m not an Ohio State football fan. Living in Columbus (which I did from September 1991 to May 1998) was very difficult in the fall when you were overwhelmed by the Buckeye fans and media. This is the only Watershed song my wife will skip when it comes on in the car, and I don’t stop her. Of note, I do think it’s awesome it was recorded considering Watershed is a Columbus-based band that roots for Ohio State.  Watch This! 

Paint The Town Red (60): When I first downloaded this song, I didn’t realize it was a cover. Learning that made me feel better. Why? Because I found this after “Fifth of July,” and to me, this was a step backward for the band. As a cover, it makes sense. I still haven’t heard the original version. Listen Here!

I Deserve You (59): This is an excellent vocal performance, but it just gets lost on "Side 2" of Twister.

Watch This! No footage of this song, but very rare cover of Sinead O'Conner "Last Day of Our Acquaintance" after band plays "Johnny 99." Film from infamous Endo/Exo three night stand in Jacksonville, FLA.  The band refuses to talk about what happened, to this day.

Going Through The Motions (58): The only song I really don’t like on “Fifth of July.” I do like the execution of an idea. The song is called “Going Through The Motions” and the tempo is so monotonous, and the lyrics are spot on. Very well done, but it’s out of the 3-minute, up-tempo song structure of the rest of the album.

Colin G - The song was deliberately placed on the album to set up "Best is Yet to Come", which was deliberately placed last on the record. This wasn't necessarily a safe/smart choice but we felt it made the entire 5th of July record more interesting and still do.

Never Could Have Made It (57): A little too sappy for me, but it isn’t a bad song by any means.

Colin G - No sir. Joe Peppercorn shines. Sucks the sap right out of it Lindsey Buckingham style.

Wreck It (56): A very raw song that should have been the theme song for the recent movie of the same name.

Ricki C. - Let me say this, right at the outset of this list: I have NO MEMORY whatsoever of more than half of the tunes thus far, and I've been seeing Watershed since 1990.  Let me also say this at the outset: I've been a FAN of the band way longer than I've been an employee of the band.  (Point of fact: as late as 2005 I was still being referred to as "that Neil Diamond-looking guy who's always hanging around talking to Colin" by no less a personage than Michael "Biggie" McDermott.)  I have an insider's view of the outside, an outsider's view of the in.     

Watch this! We couldn't find much footage for these songs, but click here for a full pro shot Watershed Concert from the LC in Columbus in front of 1,500 people.

The Watershed Rankings series will continue on Pencilstorm for the next five Saturdays. 

Stay tuned.

Ricki & Colin's Strange Tales from the Cheap Trick Merch Table

This piece originally ran back in October of 2014, and Pencilstorm management is reprinting it now to encourage all of our readers to travel to the Ohio State Fair this Saturday, August 4th, to see the mighty Cheap Trick open for Styx.  (And let's face facts, it's gonna be an early night for ya, NOBODY in their right frickin' rock & roll minds would stay for Styx's entire set.)

The Watershed show opening for Cheap Trick at the House Of Blues in Myrtle Beach, S.C. last week went great, there'll be various blogs about different aspects of the trip over the next coupla weeks, here's the first installment. 

Tale # 1

Ricki C. - Classic merch moment: At a bar adjacent to the Myrtle Beach House of Blues where we're all kicking back after the show, Watershed drummer Dave Masica walks up to me with a "Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock & Hall of Fame" t-shirt draped over his shoulder.  He pulls it off, hands it to me and says, "That guy over there wants to buy this, but I didn't know what to tell him, or how much they cost.  I told him to talk to you."

"Where did you get this?" I ask Dave.  (We had WICTITR&RHOF t's at the show, but weren't selling them.  We brought them for Colin to throw out into the audience as prizes during a quiz in the middle of set-ender "The Best Is Yet To Come.")  "I found it on the floor of the dressing room," Dave answers.  I shrug my shoulders, walk over to the guy and charge him 20 bucks for the shirt we normally sell for $15.  (I had come up $10 short on my merch totals that night according to Watershed road manager extraordinaire Michael "Biggie" McDermott, and figured this was my best shot at turning that deficit into a surplus.)  (By the way, I probably came up short because I left Colin in charge of the merch table while Biggie & I loaded out the gear after Watershed's set and Colin gave stuff away.)

Later that night, at yet another bar, Colin asks me if I picked up his WICTITR&RHOF shirt from the dressing room and I realize that I have unwittingly sold the sweaty, crummy t-shirt Colin had been wearing most of that day to some unsuspecting Rick Nielsen fan, who thought he was getting high-quality Cheap Trick merch.  Ooops.  Open message to random drunk Myrtle Beach guy: I'll make it up to you someday down the road.  

Tale # 2

Colin G. - So after we finished our set opening for Cheap Trick, I fight my way through the crowd to head out by the merch table because sometimes it helps to sell stuff if a band member is there bullshitting.  Ricki C. uses this opportunity to jam me there alone while making sure Biggie didn't need help backstage. I suspect he was going to the dressing room to make a peanut butter sandwich, but I can't prove it.

Anyway, it's kinda slow because people are waiting for Trick to come on, but one middle-aged woman is slowing picking up Watershed CDs and very thoroughly looking them over. Eventually she looks up at me and asks, "Which one has all the songs I know on it?"

"Come again?" I reply.

"Which one of these CDs has the songs I know on it?"

"Uh…."

This was a tricky question. See, with a band of our stature people usually know all of our songs or, as is much more likely, none of our songs. Thankfully, she could see I was struggling and added, "What's that one…..'I Want You to Want Me.'"

"Oh, that is a Cheap Trick song. That CD you are holding says Watershed on it. See right there? (I pointed to the big word Watershed on the front cover.) That means it's a Watershed CD, not a Cheap Trick CD."

"So you aren't in Cheap Trick?"

"No, I'm in Watershed" 

Never mind I had just come off stage and was still wearing my Watershed Hitless Wonder blue jumpsuit 

"Do you have any Cheap Trick CDs to sell?"

"No ma'am."

"Ok, goodbye."

Tale #3

Colin G. - So now I am standing at the merch table with Ricki,  Dave and Joe after Cheap Trick is done and it is mayhem. People are stacked three deep buying CDs, books, T-shirts, etc. and being good rock soldiers we are chatting with folks, offering to sign stuff and all that.

A woman leans forward and says loudly above the din of post show chaos, "Do you know who Richard Petty is?"

"Excuse me?" I said, not quite sure I was hearing her right.

"I said, DO YOU KNOW WHO RICHARD PETTY IS???" This time she said it quite loudly and seemed a little upset.

"Uh, like Richard Petty the race car driver?" was my unsure reply, spoken like a clueless Yankee.

"Yes, that one. You know, he told his sons that if they ever wanted to be famous they needed to write their names legibly so people can read them."

"You want me to sign my name more like Richard Petty's sons?"

"You already signed but I can barely read it. And you never even asked my name."

I mounted a weak defense: "Well, at least we are out here signing and being friendly. Doesn't that count for something? Besides, see that guy right there, he is an author and is really smart, I bet he will ask your name."

"Well, if you want to be famous and get on TV you better learn to write your autograph better, like Richard Petty's kids do."

Right then Joe O. leaned in and asked who he should sign this book to.

"Ha! Told you he would ask," I said, triumphant at the end.

Learn more about Ricki and Colin and the rest of the Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here.

How # Watershed Wednesday Became a Thing - by Nick Jezierny

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook (not to be confused with Love/Hate the band).  I enjoy seeing what friends are doing and eating, plus I find out about some things happening around town.  That’s the love part.

The hate part is the shared political posts, fake news, and extreme right & left pages that I’m asked to like.

So during the election season last year, I decided that I was going to post a “Song Lyric of the Day” for the month of November.  I ride my bike 8 miles (each way) to work and listen to the 200-plus songs I’ve loaded onto my iPod Shuffle.  That first day, Black N Blue’s “Miss Mystery” came on and “I’m tied to the track, just waiting for the train” became the first lyric I posted.

I continued this each day, writing the lyrics on the white board that is built into my workstation (re: cube) at the office and photographing and posting them.  Typically, it’s a song I heard on my ride in or one over the weekend or one that pops into my head for no good reason.

I haven’t stopped doing this, only missing days when I’m out of the office.  I think the whiteboard is a nice touch, as opposed to just typing the lyrics. 

At some point, I picked a Watershed lyric and it was on a Wednesday.  That’s when I used #WatershedWednesday and started tagging Colin & Joe, who are Facebook friends.  It’s cool to get comments from them, such as the time Joe wondered how I even knew the song “One-Word Title.”  I enjoy comments from  people I don’t know.  I even appreciate learning the correct lyrics — I’ve guessed wrong a few times or relied on speculative Internet sites to get the words.

But my favorite part about #WatershedWednesday is I take my classic iPod and select Music < Artists < Watershed < Play All.  I’ve got 98 songs loaded on there — Twister, Star Vehicle, The More It Hurts, The More It Works, Fifth of July, Brick and Mortar, Three Chords and Three Chords II, a few of the Singles Series, the Obvious EP and the cover of “Paint the Town Red”  I listen to those songs every Wednesday, and I swear it makes it my favorite day of the workweek.

Tommy Stinson - The George Harrison of The Replacements by Colin G.

Tommy Stinson's Cowboys in the Campfire will be performing at Used Kids Records Monday March 26th, 7 pm. He will also be taping a Big Room segment with Brian Phillips on CD1025 airtime TBA. This story was originally published in the past. 

It's Replacements week here at Pencilstorm. Along with my Watershed pals - Hitless Wonder author Joe Oestreich and the living literary legend, "Biggie" - I have been invited to St. Paul, Minnesota, to witness The Replacements' homecoming show on Saturday September 13th at Midway Stadium in St. Paul, MN. In honor of this we decided to knock out some 'Mats-related material for your enjoyment. - Colin G.  Click here for previous Mats' story.

Here are three facts about Tommy Stinson:

1) He joined one of the most notoriously dysfunctional bands in rock history just as he was entering puberty. Even as his older brother was kicked out of the band and eventually died of alcoholism-related complications, and as the Replacements fell apart, he emerged from the mess as a completely functional adult as if he was raised in a New England boarding school.

2) He is the only person never to have been fired from Guns n Roses by Axl Rose.

3) Tommy Stinson always looks like a rock star.

On the merits of those three facts alone, I think one could argue that Tommy Stinson deserves admission into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame as a solo artist. But you know what hardly anybody mentions when they talk about Tommy Stinson? He is an amazing musician who makes GREAT solo records. 

In fact, I think if you put Tommy's post-Mats' solo output head-to-head against Paul Westerberg's, Tommy has a higher percentage of great songs. No knock on Paul, he is on the Mt. Rushmore of great rock songwriters, but Tommy - simply put - doesn't release sub-par albums. Unlike Paul at times, it obvious Tommy he puts everything he has into each of his records.

His three full-length records in the past twenty years are: Bash n Pop - Friday Night is Killing Me, Tommy Stinson - Village Gorilla Head and Tommy Stinson - One Man Mutiny. Perfect is good as well, but we will stick to the full-lengths.(* Author's note: Since this story was published, Tommy released the record Anything Could Happen with his band Bash and Pop. I think it's his best record yet. )

These records all age well and there isn't a weak track in the bunch. More so, a number of tracks are as good as the best of any Replacements records. If Paul is the Lennon/McCartney of the 'Mats, Tommy Stinson is the George Harrison.

The funny thing is, nobody listens to Tommy Stinson records. Especially Replacements fans, it seems. Hell, even I took over a year to press one single button on my phone so I could check out One Man Mutiny. I don't know why it took so long. It just didn't seem important. Then, within the first thirty seconds of the the opening track that familiar light- bulb went off, "Oh yeah, I forgot, I fucking love Tommy Stinson. Why did I wait so long to play this?"

I have since played One Man Mutiny about 100 times and loved every spin. Great songs. Great vocals. Great sound. You know what would be really cool? If somehow the "new" Replacements could let Tommy slide over to center stage every night a-la Keith and do a couple of solo songs. I think that after all Tommy Stinson has lived through, survived and meant to rock and roll, he deserves a little glory all to himself. - Colin Gawel

Colin Gawel plays in the band Watershed and was once kissed on the lips by Tommy Stinson onstage for covering a Kinks songs at Stache's in Columbus,OH. You can read about that and whole bunch more in the best-selling book "Hitless Wonder- A Life in Minor League Rock n Roll" by Joe Oestreich   

Secret Bonus Track. A Tommy Stinson Primer.

Click here for a massive Tommy Stinson playlist some maniac put together on youtube. Songs, videos, and interviews. Below are some of my picks.

Tommy Stinson - One Man Mutiny

Listen to This! "All This Way For Nothing"     

Watch this! "It's a Drag"  

Listen to This!  "Meant To Be"     

Listen to this! "Destroy Me" 

Tommy Stinson - Village Gorilla Head

Listen to This! "Without a View" (opening track on record)  

Watch this! "Someday" (fan video with a bunch of cool pics)  

Listen to this! "Not a Moment Too Soon" 

Bash n Pop - Friday Night is Killing Me 

Listen to this! "Friday Night is Killing Me"

Listen to this! "Tiny Pieces"

Watch this! 'Bash n Pop' on Letterman                                                                    

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. I believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.

Bongos, Bad Karma, The Pat McGee Band and Watershed - Colin Gawel

A number of years back, Watershed was touring for the 5th of July album when we found ourselves opening for the Pat McGee Band in Nags Head, NC. As this was a beach gig, and not in say Wichita, Kansas, band morale was pretty high. Pat and his guys had finished their soundcheck and we were loading onto the stage about an hour before doors. I went up to one of Pat's road-crew members working stage right, my side of the stage, and introduced myself.

"Hey man, I'm Colin from Watershed, thanks so much for having us out. Should be a great night. I was wondering, would it be cool if we moved those bongos about 3 or 4 feet to the right of that microphone? That's where I usually sing, so if we could just slide the bongos over a little bit, we should be all set."

"Nobody touches the bongos, man," was the curt reply.

"We would be happy to move them and them move them right back after our show. We will be careful. It will only take five seconds. Literally five seconds."

"Sorry man, nobody moves the bongos. Band policy."

This was a disappointing policy. It would have made life so much easier if we could have found a way to move two lousy bongos 3 or 4 feet, but being the support act, you learn to take the good with the bad. It will make the stage look a little funky but it's not the end of the world.

"Well then, is it cool if I move the microphone three feet to the left and I will just sing there?"

"Nope. Once the bongos are mic'd, nobody moves the microphone. We already soundchecked the bongos, so no, you can't move the microphone either. Sorry man."

So now the club's sound guys have to bust out another channel and another microphone to put to the left of the bongos. However, at this point  there isn't enough time to set up another monitor for me before doors. This is less than ideal.

"I don't suppose there is any chance we could turn the bongo monitor a little my direction so I could hear some vocals, is there?"

"Like I said, we already dialed in the bongos. so no."

So as I played the set jammed between Joe Oestreich on my left, and those bongos on my right I couldn't help but think, "I bet those bongos have a hell of a stage mix."

(At this point in the story, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit I despise bongos of all shapes and sizes. Even when they aren't in my way, I'm not a fan of bongos. You'll never hear me say things like, "Awesome! This band has bongos? That totally rocks." or " Woo-hoo!! Crank up them bongos!" I  just don't say those things.)

I thought about kicking those bongos off the front of the stage numerous times during our set, but being a professional I knew that wasn't the answer. I also took satisfaction in knowing that what goes around, comes around, and that one day this score would be settled.

That day finally came on Saturday November 23rd, 2013. I was working a busy morning at Colin's Coffee when a tune cut through the noise of conversation and the espresso machine. It's pretty hard to hear what music is playing over all the commotion but something about this song really struck a nerve. Finally, I had to stop what drink I was making and say aloud to nobody, "God, this song sucks! Who is this?"

I walked over to the Pandora connection we use (it was set on a Ray Davies channel) and pressed the Now Playing button. You have to understand, typically, I only check on songs that sound good and give them the "thumbs up." This tells the friendly robot that if it chooses, I would enjoy hearing that song again in the future. 

Why waste time pressing "thumbs down?" I mean, the song will be over soon enough and most times I can barely hear the song anyway. But on this particular Saturday, something about this song was so wussy, so sucky, I just had to know who it was even if customers had to wait an extra minute for their drink.

As I pressed the Now Playing button I mumbled, "Who is this asshole?"

Artist: Pat McGee.  Song: (blah blah blah)

So Pat, we meet again. Excellent. I knew this day would come. Revenge is a dish best served cold and in cyberspace, my friend.

I can read your thoughts, "Colin, take a deep breathe and calm down. Think about what you are doing. A "thumbs down" on Pandora is like a C - in middle school math. It goes on your permanent record and follows you for life. If you press that button, Pat will never get into college, get a job, or even get laid, ever again. Why not be the bigger man and let it go? Just don't press anything. Hit skip if you must. That sends a message too."

No, it was too late for amends. The Pat McGee Band had their chance to move those bongos, and now it was time for the sharp knife of justice to cut a gaping wound into the band's future prospects of success. 

My finger started towards the "thumbs down" symbol.

People screamed, babies cried, dogs barked and fish swam. Somebody yelled from the back of the shop, "Run for cover in the bathrooms, I think he's gonna do it."

Closer, closer, closer..

Bam!

Ain't bongo karma a bitch.

Thumbs Down, Pat. Thumbs Down.

Colin Gawel writes for Pencilstorm and plays in the band Watershed. To learn more about Colin and Watershed,  pick up a copy of the best selling memoir "Hitless Wonder - A Life in Minor League Rock n Roll". 

My Thirty Favorite Watershed Songs - by Tom Linzell

Watershed is performing at Ace of Cups, Columbus OH, Saturday, Aug 10th 2019

Last summer a guy named Nick Jezierny, in a clever twist on Colin Gawel's ranking of every Cheap Trick song, ranked every Watershed song recorded.  He included live albums and even some bonus tracks.  This was great reading, especially the notes from the band &  Ricki C. and links to videos. It inspired me to make my own list.  I have known these guys since grade school, before they picked up their instruments and decided to form a band.  I have no idea how many times I have seen them play live, but I am sure it is more than a hundred shows.  Now, I'm not going to rank every song.  "What??" you say. "What a rip off!" Really, who wants to write or read about songs that are just ok? Are we going to argue about the 40th vs 41st best football teams? Ain't nobody got time for that! So here are my top 30 songs - the ones I would put on a mix tape (CD) for someone who has never heard the band.  

For the record, there are 56 songs on the five studio albums the band has released, so 30 out of 56 that I really love is not too shabby.  I included the album and release date, as well as the main vocalist. Watershed is somewhat rare in having two front men, besides some notable bands like, oh, Kiss and The Beatles. When they started out as The Wire, they always had a lead singer:  a charismatic, David Lee Roth-type guy (first Paul Webber, then Ron Severance). When they went off to O-State, they said F-it! We can do this. They taught themselves to sing while playing instruments and kept on rocking. I believe that typically Joe or Colin will bring a song to the band they have worked up on acoustic guitar with lyrics and chords to finish in rehearsal. While they would likely poo-poo the notion of my song vs. his song, I think it sets up interesting contrasts in vocal quality, song content, mood and structure. I would love to see them do a set where each one sings only the other guy's parts. Without further ado:

30.    Everywhere I Turn    From: Twister (1995)        
    Main vocals: Joe
Notes:  When you are the first song on the list (at the bottom of the table, for you futbol aficionados) there are always going to be several songs nipping at your heels, trying to get you relegated to the near-miss list.  Good drums, good guitar, but it is the chorus that gets this one in the top thirty. See the near-miss list at the end.

29.    Superstressed        From: Star Vehicle (1997)    
    Main vocals: Colin
Notes:  Great lyrics, really heavy guitar sound with nice Rick Nielsen-style flourishes. Herb's big drums and Joe's bass set up a rock solid back line for the guitar that goes from rhythm to leads and back seamlessly. Well-produced and nicely balanced. This seems a little low on the list right now. I think Colin is an under-appreciated guitarist and this is exhibit #1.

28.    Half Of Me        From: Star Vehicle (1997)    
    Main vocals: Joe
Notes: This is one of many Watershed songs that you can just imagine someone already famous making into a huge hit.  Super clever lyrics, of course. Probably the closest they have come to writing an old school country song. I also like how at shows they sometimes play it slow and twangy, and sometimes fast and punky. This would work as bluegrass, hip hop, anything. 

27.    Sad Drive        From: Twister (1995)        
    Main vocals: Colin
Notes: Their first full length studio release, Twister is holding up much better than expected, and it gets a bad rap from the band for its production.  This recording really captures the essence of one CG's early standards - take another listen to it, loud in a car or with real headphones. Perfectly balanced and so simple: Colin's vocal and guitar strumming, mirrored by Joe's bass, share center stage over the high hat.  Starts to crescendo towards the end with guitar leads, then fades out. One of their best ever produced songs. I also like when they used to extend the ending and rock this out in concert.

26.    Wallflower Child    From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)    
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  And of course, one of Joe's early standards.  This one meant so much to Joe that he got it tattooed on his shoulder.  And why not?  Clever lyrics that perfectly capture the band's early high school dorks not getting laid ethos.  *Interestingly, this is one of the very few songs that the singer (at least in the album version) is not the songwriter.  Joe usually sings this live, in much more punk style. I am not including the live albums (or ranking different versions separately) on this list, just focusing on the songs. Having said that, this isn't my favorite version of this song, but I appreciate mixing up the style for some variety on the album - they can't all be rockers. This song makes the list on it's strength as a live performance in my mind.  

25.    You Need Me        From: Twister (1995)        
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:    In Nick's list (he ranked this 22), Joe and Colin point out that the sweet drum intro was very similar to Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some."  I had never picked up on that, but I hear another influence: The Dragsters "Nitro Jungle Woodie."  My brother Pete had a killer surf rock band in the late '80s/early '90s and they opened a show at Stache's with a similar, but quicker drum beat and sax solo.  When the guitar and cymbals kicked in, the floor in front of the stage absolutely exploded with girls dancing, almost like it was choreographed.  You never forget that.  It is also a great way to open your major label debut: we do need them.

24.    Mercurochrome    From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)    

      Main vocals: Joe

      Notes:  Just a poppy little number about suicide.  Sort of a hard-rockin' commercial jingle,             but rock it does!  This may be the only song that I rank same as Nick, for whatever that is             worth.

23.    The Best Is Yet To Come    From: The Fifth Of July (2005)    
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  It sure is, brother - on this list anyway.  This song ends what is in my opinion their very best album, The Fifth of July. Is the best yet to come from the band? We shall see, but that will be tough to do.  More on that later.

22.    Sweet Kisses / Bitter Scars    From: The Single Series Vol. 2 (2001)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes: In the liner notes to this EP, they call this song "loud, proud, and bound for obscurity. Probably the best Watershed song to never make an album."  That statement is correct.  In fact, it's the only song not from a full length studio album to make my top 30.  I would love to see a master list of all Watershed songs ever written & performed. I am sure they have more than double the 56 that made albums. I bet Biggie has such a list.

21.    My Lucky Day        From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Such rich and efficient lyrics, I started quoting it until I realized that I would have to transcribe the whole damn song here.  Not gonna do that - go listen to it right now.  This song is just tight, tight, tight. Also fantastic drums, guitars, production, everything. I have special place in my heart for a rock song that is also positive and upbeat. This song may be underrated at 21, but competition is getting stiff.

20.    Little Mistakes    From: Brick And Mortar (2012)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Another catchy anthem from the pen of Joe. The first of three in a row from their most recent album Brick and Mortar (what a great album title, by the way).  They just happened to get ranked sequentially.  More on how I compiled the rankings at the end.  Not sure why this album only gets 3 on the list, the highest at 18, but these are the songs I have heard performed live the least so that may explain it.

19.    Broken        From: Brick And Mortar (2012)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  Excellent production here too.  Fairly complex mix, with Joe adding harmonies throughout.  A lot going on in the background that adds depth, like the other Joe (Peppercorn's) keys. Colin's songs tend to have a darker hue, but this strikes a good balance between the lyrics, the tempo and chords.

18.    Words We Say    From: Brick And Mortar (2012)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  Have you every noticed on the later Beatles albums like Abbey Road and Let It Be that you can start to hear hints of future Lennon & McCartney solo recordings?  This song feels like a Colin Gawel and the Lonely Bones song to me - not that there is anything wrong with that.  It may be that I have heard it live with the Bones more than 'Shed.  Is Brick and Mortar the last Watershed album?  I doubt it, and certainly hope not.

17.    Getting Ready    From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  Pretty sophisticated arrangements to these ears, lots of variation - pensive and quiet to all out and loud.  I think that's what really appeals to me here. I also love where Colin sings "something will go wrong" and Joe is in the background with "nothing will go wrong." One of many songs that make me think it must be difficult to date or be married to a song writer:  "Really, Colin?  You're getting ready to lose me?"  Probably pretty hard to get to sleep next to a murder mystery writer too.

16.    Over Too Soon    From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Fairly slow paced for a "Joe song," but as usual well-crafted lyrics. Like many of their songs, it seems like one that could be covered by someone and turned into a hit, as noted by the boys in Nick's list. The production seems a little over-wrought here (apologies to Mr. Patalan).  Save the strings for the Beatles.

15.    Anniversary        From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  Probably a controversial ranking here. There was a time when this was the undisputed champion of Watershed songs.  In fact at one point the band did a March Madness-style 64 song tournament bracket for fans to vote on their favorites and this won.  Still a great one, but has not held up quite as well as some further up this list.  Then again, there have been three more albums of material to compete against since then.  Maybe I've just heard it too many times by now. What this song does well is take advantage of the fairly unique two-headed monster that is Watershed vocals and songwriting.  This song is a sort of duet/call and response.  I love it when they are both singing different things at the same time.

14.    Just For Show    From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  "I'm automatic here in my room, can't put one over on YOU!"  This song swings as well as rocks.  The chorus has a Todd Rundgren feel to it, which is kind of a cool link between the punk delivery of more Joe nuggets like "I'm just glad for the day Buddy made glasses cool" and "double-wide cheek bones slice up your face."  Besides being clever lyricists, the 'Shed boys are masters of self-deprecation.

13.    Laundromat        From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Power pop gem - this song has nowhere to go but up.  Grrrrrreat guitars on this one. I won't keep bothering you with lyric shout-outs but (who am I kidding, of course I will), how about this one: "I'm tryin' to get some change, for the dryer and the Pac-man game, 100 grand high score, triple A the name."  So, so sweet: see the dude who made the high score didn't even bother to put in his or her initials.  As I said before, I do have an affinity for the upbeat ones.  While I was honing in on my top 30, I was worried it would be too heavy on the Joe songs and light on the Colin songs. However, lo and behold, quite on accident they fall exactly 15 for each. How about that?

12.    Star Vehicle        From: Star Vehicle (1997)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  Another great start to an album, this a response to being dropped by Epic. I don't know how many albums put the title track first, but hats off to that. I do know another one that does: Dream Police, but more on that one later. Somewhat slower tempo, but boy does it rawwwwwk. Excellent production, great bass, drums, and guitars.  However, leading into the guitar solo with "alright, rock." used to really annoy me.  I am thinking now it may be part of the song's witty commentary on the corporate music business.  Please tell me I'm right on this, Colin.

11.    Give A Little Bit    From: Star Vehicle (1997)    
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  This album is such good power pop - can't stress that enough.  Credit to producer Frank Aversa and the band.  Everything is right in front but nothing drowns out anything else. God dammit, why wasn't this a hit?  This song is just waiting to break into the top ten - a few more listens and it might.  CG is also a really good harmonica player.

10.    If That's How You Want It    From: Twister (1995)    and Star Vehicle (1997)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Probably the first song by Watershed that made me think they would make it big. I visited them in NYC while they recorded Twister and hearing this through the studio speakers on top of the huge mixing board at the Power Station really puts the stars in your eyes.  It is interesting to listen to both recordings back to back - Star Vehicle version is a smidge quicker, but sounds more raw.  Twister is more polished - and probably my favorite. The line "we'll never just be friends" is so elegant and so good.

9.    I'd Be A Liar        From: Star Vehicle (1997)    
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes: Hard driving, no compromise. This one brings it. "No, I wouldn't cheat my friends in playing cards / But honey, cheating on you well that ain't as hard, not as hard." Woo! Explain that line to your honey.  Interesting side note: according to iTunes the albums Twister, The More It Hurts The More It Works, and Brick & Mortar are in the genre "Pop" while albums Star Vehicle and The 5th Of July are in the genre "Punk."  Perhaps their way of saying the band straddles both.

8.    The Habit        From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  Yep, this one might be what puts 5th of July into the punk genre. The band loves Green Day, but this beats anything by them for me. This album, besides dominating my top ten, puts me in danger of getting speeding tickets. For my 50th birthday, I want the band to play a show with at least the top half of this list.

7.    Can't Be Myself    From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  One of their best live songs - getting the crowd to sing the "I don't know how long I can hold out" part while Joe runs through the verses - wow, it's giving me goose bumps just writing about it. Another one where both singers are singing different parts at the same time - this always works.

6.    Slowly Then Suddenly    From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Dave's drums rule this one, but guitar and bass just barely get beat out, like Ricky Relish breaking the tape before Kelly Ketchup and Mickey Mustard at a Columbus Clippers baseball game. Another great memory (as the boys noted in Nick's list): the band was working on these songs and rehearsing in a vacant storefront on the now-thriving Gay Street in downtown Columbus.  They had a party there and played a show in the round, facing each other like they would in any practice space while the crowd surrounded them in this high-ceilinged future restaurant.  A magical experience, and like hearing some of the songs on Twister for the first time in the studio in NYC, this will always give this song extra meaning for me. 

5.    New Depression    From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes: This song does indeed get me high.  Like all of the songs in the top ten, could be a smash hit with the right breaks or covered by the right person.

4.    How Do You Feel     From: Twister (1995)
    Main vocals: Colin
    Notes:  How Do You Feel was written about 25 years ago, and it is holding up just fine.  Again I must come to the defense of Twister and it's production. This song and this recording will still be good 25 years from now.

3.    Obvious    From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  Another great album lead-off song. Another should have been hit.  Great bass, great guitar, great drums, great chorus, verses that mesh with the melody. Joe claims in the notes to Nick's list that this isn't about hooking up with an underage girl, and I don't dispute that.  It IS about hooking up with a girl old enough to have her own apartment, but obviously much younger than the protagonist.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be obviously wrong, right?

2.    5th Of July    From: The Fifth Of July (2005)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  The absolute definition of power-pop.  So tight - perfect match between lead vocals, backing vocals, and instruments.  If you're not keeping count, this makes 5 of the top 10 from The 5th of July, and 9 out the 11 songs on the album in my top 30.  Safe to say I consider this the zenith of Watershed studio releases. More about the other two later.  But I would put the first four songs on this album up against the first four songs from ANY album by ANY band.  Don't believe me? Let's try a few: In this corner, from Columbus Ohio, representing The 5th Of July (Obvious, The Habit, 5th Of July, Slowly Then Suddenly). The challenger: Kiss, Destroyer (Detroit Rock City, King Of The Night Time World, God Of Thunder, Great Expectations). Well of course 1 and 3 crush, 2 is ok, but 4 gives this bout to 'Shed. Next up: Bruce Springsteen, Born To Run (Thunder Road, Tenth Avenue Freeze Out, Night, Backstreets). Hoo boy, no one can accuse me of lining up tomato cans to face 5th Of July. 1, 2, and 4 are some of the most important rock songs ever written and performed.  Song 3 is good, but not better then the first four on 5th - The Boss wins, but only 2-1-1. How about Cheap Trick Dream Police? (Dream Police, Way Of The World, The House Is Rockin', Gonna Raise Hell).  Well, I'll give this one to Trick 3-1, but Watershed certainly weren't embarrassed out there.

1.    New Life    From: The More It Hurts, The More It Works (2002)
    Main vocals: Joe
    Notes:  This song gives me chills.  This has everything that makes Watershed great: the dual singing, power chords, killer drums, tight lyrics, anthemic chorus.  According to Joe and Colin's notes on Nick's list, Tim Patalan gets a lot of credit for this one. You don't have to agree with me that this is their Number One song, but if this doesn't at least scare your top ten, then you and I have very different ideas about rock and roll music.

How they were ranked:  To start with, I brought all of the CD's on our road trip to Myrtle Beach to see the band open for Cheap Trick. I played them all start to finish.  Back at home I went album to album making yes, maybe and no lists.  The yes's and no's are easy, but where do you draw the line on the maybe's?  After much listening, I had it down to 30.  From there, I sorted them into top ten, second ten, and third ten. Then I subdivided the groups of ten into groups of 3 (1-3, 4-6, etc down to 28-30). Next I decided the order within these groups of three which gave me a an ordered list. At that point, I stepped back to see if certain songs should be ahead of others.  There were some shifts up, which of course sent some down.  

Near Misses:    So those songs I talked about nipping at the heels of Everywhere I Turn? 
Suckerpunch: so, so close - but 30 is such a nice round number. I-65: one of the last ones bumped - a better song in person.  I've Been Looking Everywhere: a great start, but seems to be just a chorus, or could be kind of an instrumental. Would love to see this fleshed out.  Kind of Who-like.  Then they fade into a version of Born To Run that I used to hate, but have come to accept. You have to admire the moxie and earnestness.  Colin changes up the phrasing and tempo a bit to make it their own, for better or worse (worse.) Black Concert T-shirt: probably will get shit for leaving this one out, but that smug chorus is what keeps it out for me. Set The World On Fire: like the rest of Brick & Mortar, I think I just need to see these played live more.

The banished ones:  (Caution - feelings might be hurt!) I have left three songs out of my iTunes library of Watershed Albums.  The two I alluded to from The 5th Of July: Small Doses and Going Through The Motions.  On Small Doses, I just don't like how Colin sings the words "small doses" - it just rubs me the wrong way.  Otherwise a good song.  Maybe if Dave Grohl was screaming it out? When they play this live, which seems like every show (and every Lonely Bones show), it's time to go to the restroom and buy a beer.  But I always hear squeals of joy from the crowd - so some people must love it. Maybe the women, or maybe the younger fans.  No one I have talked to about it does.  Going Through The Motions is actually quite good.  Maybe too good.  Makes me wonder if I am going through the motions.  I never have to hear this song again. And lastly, my least favorite Watershed song, which ironically also seems to be a crowd and band favorite: American Muscle. I want to punch this song in the balls.  Arrogance that makes me root against the overdog. Endless double entendres that would make Gene Simmons blush, such as "put the liquidity in your assets " and "whip my fat wad out." Ham-handed metaphors everywhere I turn.....my eyes hurt from all of the rolling. Joe's lyrics are usually clever, but this song comes off like something from an undergrad English major with a financing minor.