Concert Review: KISS / The End of The Road / Live in Pittsburgh, March 20, 2019 - by Jeremy Porter

My history with KISS started around the age of 9 years old with KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park and the HBO special. I was all in. Double Platinum and Alive! were my first two KISS albums. I was an Ace guy, but loved Gene, and Paul and Peter after that. I lost interest when Unmasked came out, briefly bought back in for Lick It Up, saw them a couple times in the ‘80s out of sheer convenience, then checked out again until Unplugged aired. Since then the old stuff has again been in regular rotation. I married a girl who grew up on “God of Thunder” and (in) “Detroit Rock City.” I regretted missing the reunion with Ace and Peter, especially the first show in Tiger Stadium, but I didn't lose any sleep over it. I had better things to do with my time and money. As members came and went, money kept coming in, YouTube evidence of Paul's deteriorating voice or his artificial ways of masking it surfaced, and the announcement that this it - THE END OF THE ROAD – was made, I was indifferent, if not mildly annoyed. Still, those early records were in rotation.

Detroit was a huge city for KISS, second only to New York, and maybe even equal. The city embraced them early and often, and it was Alive!, recorded (*cough*) at Detroit's Cobo Hall, that broke them. The morning of the Detroit show my wife was in a funk, tickets pulled up on StubHub, looking for someone to be her partner in crime for the concert. Hell, she was even willing to spring for the tickets. I couldn't go, and her friends didn't exactly rally behind her with Starchild grease paint on, so she missed out. The subject came up again a couple times over the next week & a half as she moped around the house humming classic tracks and asking me which album they were on. Until this past Friday night. An hour earlier it wasn't even on the table, but now we had tickets and a hotel room walking distance from the arena. In the morning we would leave for Pittsburgh. If I'm being honest, I was kinda dragged to the show, but when I clicked “Purchase” on the tickets I made the decision to approach it with an open mind, and regardless of my gripes, have fun. By the time we started pre-gaming I was legitimately pretty excited. 

The PPG Arena is your standard, modern hockey arena I suppose. Long lines to get in, but a pretty smooth operation. If you put the work in you can find a decent whiskey in a plastic Penguins cup, and there's no shortage of merch-booths and food for every palette. We walked down to our seats, about 12 rows back on the Gene-side. Tickets said 7:30 pm. We'd heard about a painter who did a short bit to open the show, but the ushers were talking about a 30-minute film that would start at 7:45, then KISS at 8:30. There was no painter and no film, just a looping 2-minute video commercial for the KISS KRUISE.  At 8:45, 75 minutes after the advertised show time, the lights went down. Mildly annoyed that we could have used that hour-fifteen in a few other ways, we stood up to “YOU WANTED THE BEST YOU GOT THE BEST!”  This was it.

They went into “Detroit Rock City” and it was pretty clear from the start that this wasn't your average concert. We could feel the heat from the pyrotechnics and the band was clearly fired up too. I quickly took out my ear plugs and realized that it wasn't that loud at all and sounded better without. We were loving the set-list as we got “Shout it Out Loud” and “Deuce,” but the stinker “Say Yeah” four songs in was the perfect opportunity to get a drink.  I made it back for most of “I Love it Loud” and stayed put for the rest of the set. Highlights for me were “100,000 Years,” “Dr. Love,” and “Let Me Go, Rock 'N' Roll.” The encore included an unnecessary “Beth,” with Eric Singer playing a sequined piano that would have made Liberace blush, followed by an unexpected “Do You Love Me?” before they wrapped it up with “Rock and Roll All Night.”

It was possibly the least boring show I've ever seen: an explosion here, a laser show there, platforms elevating and Paul flying out to the second stage for “Love Gun” and “I Was Made for Loving You,” not to mention the blood-spitting, fire-breathing, tongue-wagging antics of The Demon. The guitar solo (mostly stolen from Ace's Alive II “Shock Me” solo) and the drum solo (largely lifted from Peter's Alive! “100,000 Years” solo) were a bit cliche, but whaddya expect? Somehow we survived into the next tunes. 

There's a lot you can say about and against KISS, and in my book it's mostly valid, but you can't say these guys are phoning it in. They came out on their game and didn't stop until it was over. At 67 years old, Paul Stanley is as good a front-man as there is, and even though his raspy, hoarse, between-song banter didn't exactly match the healthy, vibrant signing we heard through the mains, he deserves a nod for the work he put in. Gene was great - I've said for years that he's an under-rated bassist and singer. And other than the fact that they're hired guns wearing the makeup of members long belittled and forgotten by the bosses, Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer are top-notch musicians who not only held their own, but added some youth and excitement onstage.  

It was nearly midnight by the time we got out of there. As we walked back up Liberty Street toward our hotel I had to admit that it was a damn good time and I was really glad I went. It was everything KISS said it would be, and it was nothing they said it wouldn't. No political rants, not even any cussing from the stage, just a super high-energy show, a whole bunch of great songs, a celebration of one hell of a run, and an arena full of satisfied customers. I might just have to go back for the next Farewell tour.

Pittsburgh Set List:

Detroit Rock City
Shout It Out Loud
Deuce
Say Yeah
I Love It Loud
Heaven's on Fire
War Machine (Gene breathes fire)
Lick It Up
Calling Dr. Love
100,000 Years (with drum solo)
Cold Gin (with Tommy Thayer guitar solo )
God of Thunder (with bass solo)
Psycho Circus
Let Me Go, Rock 'N' Roll
Love Gun
I Was Made for Lovin' You
Black Diamond
Encore:
Beth
Do You Love Me
Rock and Roll All Nite

 Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos - www.thetucos.com

Follow them on Facebook to read his road blog about their adventures on the dive-bar circuit -
www.facebook.com/jeremyportermusic 

Twitter: @jeremyportermi | Instagram: @onetogive | www.rockandrollrestrooms.com

Rating the KISS Unmasked Draft Albums - by Nick Jezierny

Click here for complete results of KISS Unmasked Fantasy Draft

(editor’s Note: On a 100-degree day in Boise, Nick decided not to ride his mountain bike like he does every Tuesday and chose to sit around in his Kiss boxers and rate these records. “Seems like a productive thing to do,” his wife said sarcastically.)

This is going to be harder than I anticipated – I’ve studied the albums, tried my own crazy formula to rank them (way too complicated and probably too scientific). I thought about ranking all songs from 1-71 and then scoring the records like a cross country meet.

That seemed like a lot of work, and since my love of Kiss sometimes means a song I’m not super-high on one day becomes a favorite the next, I’ve decided I’m just going to go with my gut and that means this: the best rule for unmasked Kiss – the fewer Gene songs, the better.

Let’s be honest. The Demon struggled mightily between the last makeup record “Creatures of the Night” and the last non-makeup record (at least in this draft) “Revenge.” He was making movies and the 80’s fashion trends didn’t suit him well.

So the record that starts with “Domino” and ends with “Lonely is the Hunter” and has a total of eight Gene songs is automatically eliminated. Not only does it have eight Simmons songs, but none of his best five from this era are included.

• Thou Shalt Not

• Secretly Cruel

• Unholy

• Betrayed

• Fits Like A Glove

The highlight of this last-place record in “Silver Spoon,” one of my favorites.

Time to eliminate another record. Two others records have at least five Gene songs, but Gene songs are created unequal. The album that contains two of his epic duds – “Murder in High Heels” and “Any Way You Slice It” – among six Simmons offerings is the next on the chopping block.

While the Gene songs didn’t help — “No No No” is another stinker — it was the lack of great Paul songs that led to its demise. While “Exciter” and “Tough Love” are above-average, they aren’t enough to warrant this record as the winner. And it has “My Way,” which is “no way” in my book.

The next cut was difficult. It would be easy to take an album with five Gene songs, but I’m going a different direction. The album that starts with “Take It Off” and ends with “Carr Jam” is the next to go.

While this album featured a legitimate No. 2 pick in “A Million To One,” there wasn’t enough substance to follow it. I found myself wanting to rank this higher, but there are a lot of forgettable or blah songs, including “(You Make Me) Rock Hard,” “While the City Sleeps,” “Get All You Can Take” and “Who Wants To Be Lonely.”

This disc only had two Gene songs – “Not For The Innocent” and “Spit” – but those aren’t album killers, but they also couldn’t help it stave off elimination.

That leads us to the five-Gene song album that starts with “Unholy.” Between that hit and “Fits Like A Glove,” some of Gene’s best non-makeup work shows up. So does his worst: “Love’s A Deadly Weapon.”

There are some other strong picks – “I’ve Had Enough (Into The Fire),” “Heart of Chrome” and “Thrills in the Night” – but there’s too much filler to warrant a top-two finish. I consider “Reason to Live” like much of the “Crazy Nights” record – average at best. “I’ll Fight Hell to Hold You” is a forgettable tune and might be the worst second song on any Kiss record. (It’s worse than “Any Way You Slice It”!)

That takes us to the top two records. Both are strong records for different reasons, but I’m going to eliminate the record that opens with “Crazy, Crazy Nights” and ends with “The Street Giveth and The Street Taketh Away.”

This record had a lot going for it. “I’m Alive” and “Tears Are Falling” are very strong, and two of Gene’s best - “Thou Shalt Not” and “Secretly Cruel” - are as good as it gets from him in this era. I even like “Forever” enough to ignore “Let’s Put the X in Sex.”

What really sunk this record is the inclusion of “Hide Your Heart.” Back in 1989, when I was a senior at Ohio University, Kiss released “Hot in the Shade” around the same time as Ace Frehley released “Trouble Walkin’,” which as you may know, also featured a version of “Hide Your Heart.” I thought Ace’s version was vastly superior to the poppier Kiss version to the point where I dislike the Kiss version. So that was my tiebreaker – “Hide Your Heart” made this record worse than our champion.

Congratulations to the record that starts with the ultimate opening song from the non-makeup era, “King of the Mountain” and ends with perhaps my pick for the steal of this draft, the 11th-rounder “You Love Me To Hate You.”

In between, this record includes “Lick It Up,” “Heaven’s On Fire” and “God Gave Rock and Roll to You II” for hits. If you want some under-the-radar magic, you’ve got “Gimme More,” “Under The Gun” and a not-so-bad “Betrayed” as one of only two Gene songs on the mix.

We can overlook “Radar For Love” and “When Your Walls Come Down” and realize each of these albums has a dud – “Bang Bang You.”

So that’s it. I intentionally didn’t look at the names of the albums or who drafted them. I wanted to keep this on the up-and-up. Really, I’m jealous I couldn’t participate and would have liked to have included “Carnival of Souls” because there are five or six songs that would have been fine additions to some of these records.

Nick Jezierny is a former journalist who has seen Kiss 10 times on nine different tours and in eight different venues in six different states. He works as a Communications Specialist at Blue Cross of Idaho where he writes a Song Lyric of the Day each morning on the whiteboard in his cubicle.

My KISS Record - Who Dares Win by Matt Walters

Click here for the complete results of the KISS Unmasked fantasy draft.

I have a confession to make........

The nonmakeup era KISS has never particularly been my favorite. 

Oh sure, like most, I will loudly champion the bookends of that era, Lick It Up and Revenge, to anyone within earshot. After all, they’re undisputed, formidable second-tier KISS classics (those records usually rank 8th and 9th in my respective rankings), featuring top-notch production, well-balanced songwriting, and the band at its most focused. I’d say the better half of those records are chock full some of the very best KISS songs overall.  (As an aside, you’re reading this correctly - no, I don’t count Carnival of Souls as a real KISS album - and we didn’t count it in our draft. It was never released while that band was still active, the band never toured it, and none of the songs have ever been performed live. If you want, I will totally fight you in the comments. It’s not a bad record. It’s just not really a real KISS album, to me.)

Anyway, like many recovering KISS fans, I spent most of 1984-1990, the years ASIDE from the bookend releases, wondering exactly where the hell my band went, and honestly trying to listen to as little current KISS as I possibly could. You might say that I buried my KISS credentials in the closest sandbar this side of Leon the Sphinx. 

Each time I was forced to endure a single listen to any of the four album-abominations released under the KISS moniker during that unfortunate era, I was reminded that Gene Simmons was mailing in songs from D list movie sets while intentionally dressing as Bea Arthur in pink sequins. A cringeworthy thought, to be sure....

To be fair, there are decent songs on all the albums. Animalize has a rather tragic combination of some of Paul’s very best non-makeup songwriting paired with Gene’s very worst half-assed efforts, while Asylum has a couple of memorable tunes amidst 7 or 8 totally forgettable clunkers, and outfits that make early-period Poison look like they’re wearing street clothes. Crazy Nights was Paul trying way too hard to be a hair metal band with Heart’s producer, which left Gene just kind of looking and sounding ridiculous, while Hot In the Shade are four or five finished songs and about 10 8-track demos. 

This all being said, when my fellow KISS and Baseball nerd Colin Gawel asked me to be part of the insanity that is the KISS NONMAKEUP FANTASY DRAFT, this KISS and Chicago White Sox stat geek absolutely jumped at the opportunity to strangle the numbers to truly determine which semi-terrible Gene Simmons metaphorical log-fireplace thrash masterpiece in particular I might place in my starting lineup ahead of an almost as worthless Paul Stanley tune perfectly tailored to sound like Jon Bon Jovi wrote a song hungover for a eunuch to yodel it.

You might say I was born to do it.     No, really, I was. 

When the draft order was unveiled, I was awarded the first pick by random lottery. I instinctively felt as though I had a bit of advantage, ensuring I could lead the pack in how the draft fell in the odd rounds. Not wanting to waste this golden opportunity, I did the absolutely unthinkable - I listened to Animalize, Asylum, Crazy Nights and Hot in the Shade on repeat for ten days, in an effort to make sure my power rankings of all the songs that I didn’t really know and would never listen to again could be as absolutely accurate as possible.

...and while listening to Read My Body, Lonely Is the Hunter, and Radar For Love might be enough for any person to scream NO NO NO, I’m happy to report that my research indeed paid off in spades. I had a great draft, ending up with a fantastic group of some of the best songs. I only had one pick in the draft that I felt was a bad pick, and I came away thinking most of my album were winners.

I did end up with a different problem, though. The most difficult thing, for me, was actually sequencing the result! While some of my fellow draft colleagues were conscious to select first single material, album closers, or complementary material that naturally flowed, I was so focused on selecting the best song available in each draft position that some of it became impossible to juxtapose! The tracks I ended up with typically ended up being either very fast and loud or very soft and ballad-like, and I ended up with two songs that seemingly had to open the album.  

So, after spending hours in the think tank with my draft analysis, I ending up spending even more time -  a few weeks with my trusted coaches and staff -  as we assembled just the right starting lineup for opening day. 

And here’s the result! 

(Note- the album title was selected because it was the excellent working title of Crazy Nights) 

Kiss - Who Dares Win -   by Matt Walters

Side 1

Unholy

The first overall pick in the draft, and pretty much everyone agreed it was the only choice to make at #1. It’s probably not the best song in the draft in my opinion, but it’s absolutely the most valuable, as it is the best Gene Simmons song and a clear head above the second best Gene songs (Not For the Innocent, Domino, Fits Like a Glove, Thou Shalt Not, Young and Wasted). There are many great Paul Stanley songs from the Lick It Up-Revenge era, and certainly a healthy debate about which is the absolute best (I could make a decent case for two or three of my subsequent picks below), but there’s absolutely no question which Demon song rules the roost.

Heart of Chrome

This was an early round pick that some might have termed a reach, but several other GMs let it slip when I made this pick that it was on their board next. My favorite Paul Stanley song from the non makeup era, I feel as the angry/defiant Starchild side of his persona was reborn in this excellent Revenge track (see Sure No Something and Wouldn’t You Like To Know Me for reference to similar themes). This makes the ideal #2 track in my sequence, with a driving riff and the best lyrics of any song on the album. 

Fits Like A Glove

This has to be a middle of the order track in my sequence, as it’s the second best Gene hitter in my lineup, and a solid live rocker that would become a live staple for many tours. I’ve always loved this standby that for me, never gets old. I was thrilled to see his solo band recently put it back in the set...

Reason to Live

I have two ballads in my lineup, and I opted for the power ballad in the cleanup spot. As much as I dislike the idea of a power ballad carrying the proverbial weight, this track has the most mileage in terms of hit potential and will probably be the anchor of the lineup’s success. 

Thrills In The Night

My choice for the first single rounds out side 1. I never understood why this very underrated song didn’t take with either the band or the public, as it features an excellent, slinky verse riff, a great little builder of a bridge, and an explosive, catchy chorus. Given any amount of label push I feel this track could have propelled Animalize to 2x platinum (as I feel Who Wants to be Lonely might have propelled Asylum to platinum if properly marketed as a single). 

Side 2 

I’ll Fight Hell to Hold You

I put this urgent, solid Crazy Nights rocker in the position of side 2’s opener, partly because in the CD era side 2 openers matter less, but also because I needed separation from my eventual closer, which is very musically similar. I think it features some of Paul’s very best higher register vocals and some excellent guitar work from Mr. Bruce Kulick. 

Good Girl Gone Bad

This is my second favorite Gene song from Crazy Nights (after the excellent Hell or High Water, which I missed out on), and I was pleasantly surprised when it fell to me in one of the late rounds. A great medium tempo track that fills out the album tracks nicely. 

Love’s A Deadly Weapon

...and now we are into filler territory. The best thing I can say about this track is that it’s better than No, No, No, but it’s unfortunately completely devoid of a memorable chorus. Of course, you can’t expect to have all winners in this draft...

Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell

My lone error in the draft was selecting this tune with the underrated “The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away” still on the board, which fell to the savvy Colin two picks later. Although this isn’t a completely bad track, there’s nothing too noteworthy about it either. Like many tracks on Hot in the Shade, it’s just sort of there. 

Every Time I Look At You I feel this excellent Revenge ballad has to be the penultimate song in the sequence, the pause of reflection before the closing punch. A rare, complete ballad from Paul that was well arranged and has many of producer Bob Ezrin’s hallmarks. A track I still go back to today as a great example of a well-written love song. 

I’ve Had Enough (Into the Fire)

 I was tempted to put this song as the opener, but I knew I also needed a no-holds-barred closer. Once it became clear this was the only candidate in the bunch with its powerful staccato ending and high octane energy, I built the last half of my sequence around it. The best song on Animalize featuring a great Paul vocal, top notch guitar work from Mark St. John, and one of the best middle eights in any KISS song.

So that’s it! This was so much fun to do, and we discovered afterwards that it is something versatile enough that could be done with many different eras of KISS. I think the most fun part of the process was evaluating some of the songs I don’t typically listen to, and discovering some tracks I had forgotten about that have aged a bit better than I remembered. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still think some of those albums are among KISS’ very worst, but I might dust off the old vinyls for the occasional spin of an album side....

My KISS Record: Excited to the UH! Degree - by Mike Lovins

Click here for the complete results of the Unmasked Kiss fantasy draft. To discuss further, Mike, Scott and Colin from Pencilstorm will all be attending the KISS Expo Indianapolis Sunday May 13th. 

KISS - Excited to the UH! Degree - Mike Lovins

Side One

1.       Exciter – The first song from the first non-make up album. I had to have this and it had to be first.

2.       Murder in High-Heels – It’s so campy, I could almost hear David Lee Roth sing this song.

3.       Tough Love – Heavy with a great intro riff.

4.       Any Way You Slice It – Has a very un-KISS like electric drum breakdown. But I kind of like it.

5.       Burn Bitch Burn – An unapologetic string of misogynistic sexual innuendos.  Ah, Gene. We love ya!

6.       Little Caesar – More an Eric Carr solo song than a Kiss song. Eric plays drums and bass and sings lead vocals. Bruce plays all of the guitars. Gene and Paul only contributed backing vocals. It’s not a great song, but I was glad to see Eric finally get his time to shine.

Side Two

1.       No No No – A great show piece for Bruce and the only song on Crazy Nights that both Bruce and Eric have a writing credit.

2.       Uh! All Night – Possibly my favorite KISS video. Like the song, it’s so cheesy in all the right ways.

3.       Dance All Over Your Face – I just love the visual image this song creates.

4.       Paralyzed – The lyrics to this song are pretty heavy. It gives a feeling of Gene being in a down place. I’m willing to bet it’s just words. “And who says life is good? Love thyself, well I never could.” Gene is the KING of self-love.

5.       My Way – The title of this song is also the title of my most favorite song of any genre, ever. I don’t think KISS’s “My Way” had the same impact on the world that Sinatra’s did. But it did have the potential to be a great rock anthem.

Music video by Kiss performing Uh! All Night. (C) 1986 The Island Def Jam Music Group

Taken from all three "Crazy Nights" videos, Crazy Crazy Nights, Reason To Live, and Turn On The Night. I've always wanted a video for this song so I decided to make one myself.

Sinkers, Stinkers and Cringers - My Unmasked KISS Album - by Jeremy Porter

Click here for full KISS Unmasked Fantasy Draft  Results.

Like many pre-teen American boys in the late 70s, I was a big KISS fan. It’s a familiar tale - staring at the gatefolds of ALIVE! and ALIVE II, impatiently waiting for KISS Meets the Phantom to air on TV in 1978 (and an HBO concert special in `79), and playing tennis racket guitars and couch cushion drums as my friends and I became the characters themselves. The pinnacle of that experience for me were the solo records (especially Ace Frehley’s) and the Dynasty album my mom bought for me for being a good boy at a traumatic orthodontist appointment. After that, my interest faded quickly as I moved onto The Who, Cheap Trick, The Knack, and eventually Iron Maiden and Ozzy Osbourne. My attention was briefly rekindled when they took the makeup off for the Lick It Up album. I was deep into metal at that point, and the record held its own with others in the genre that year. I also still held on to enough nostalgia from my younger years to want to finally see what these guys looked like without the greasepaint. (Yikes!)

I tried to stay tuned in. I even saw them a couple times in the 80s, but Animalize and subsequent records just failed to hold my interest. Blame it on my rapid descent into punk rock, the consistently sub-par records, or just the descending, personal-arc of a once-favorite band that had run its course in a kid’s life….but it was pretty much over.  

Then one night in 1995 I casually flipped onto the MTV Unplugged episode that saw the return of Peter and Ace at the end to jam on some classics.  Those old songs stuck out to me as so much better, especially side-by-side with the new stuff, but I also enjoyed seeing Bruce Kulick solo on his acoustic like it was a Kramer, and “Domino” stood out as a kickass song.  It was around that time that I realized Gene Simmons is a really, really great rock singer. KISS was back in rotation, but still just the classic stuff. For the last 23 years that’s how it’s been.

I accepted the invitation to participate in this draft with only a slight hesitation. I’m always up for a challenge, especially when it forces me to explore something I might not otherwise bother with (like when a bandmate suggests we cover an Echo and the Bunnymen song). But I wasn’t about to phone it in. I knew almost nothing about their post-Lick it Up catalog except the singles, so I got the records and listened to them several times. There wasn’t enough time to truly digest that much music, so I created a spreadsheet and ranked each song from 1 - 10 as I listened, then re-evaluated another couple times. My plan was to tie my picks to my highest rated available songs.

I can’t honestly say that I think the best of the non-makeup stuff holds a candle to classic tracks like “Calling Dr. Love”, “Detroit Rock City”, “100,000 Years” and “She”, but it’s not without its redeeming qualities. I did my best to approach it objectively and as a separate entity, which it mostly is, and to avoid holding the past against it.

01. Domino (Revenge)

I picked this first and started my album with it because it was the one song that helped to suck me into that Unplugged show. The dynamics and transitions between the parts are really well executed. The pre-choruses and transitions into the chorus build some good momentum. It’s sexy and sultry and everything that is wrong and right about KISS. Gene’s swagger is full of confidence. This isn’t gonna be on the soundtrack for the #MeToo movement, but Mr. $immons offers no apologies.  

Cringer line:  “Every time I walk through that damn door it’s the same damn thing.  That bitch bends over and I forget my name - ow!”

Bonus cringer: “Got a reputation, haven't got a hope, It's a sticky situation, if she ain't old enough to vote”

02. All Hell’s Breakin’ Loose (Lick it Up)

This one was a bit polarizing in pre-draft discussions, but I chose it early because it was a standout to teenage me in 1983 and I still get a kick out of it. Is that Paul Stanley rapping? Sorta, certainly close enough to chuckle about it. But like “Domino,”  this song - especially the verses - have real swagger. The confidence and boldness make up for the cheesiness. Somehow, it’s believable. It’s also got shades of “I Love It Loud” (a great Gene track from the later makeup years) with the single-string, repeating guitar riff under the singalong chorus, and Vinnie VIncent’s guitar solo sounds hauntingly like something Ace would have played. I also love how the bass kicks in for the second half of the verses. In addition to being a great vocalist, Gene is also an underrated bassist.     

Cringer line: “...and he says, ‘Hey man, what be this and what be that, and why you gotta look like that?’ I just looked at him and kinda laughed and said, ‘Hey man, I am cool; I am the breeze.’ "

03. Young and Wasted (Lick it Up)

This is a really cool song for a couple reasons - it’s fast, it has a great vocal, and the lyrics aren’t ridiculous. Think of it like an 80s version of "Parasite." They sound hungry and full of piss and vinegar. Gene isn’t phoning anything in. The urgency here is something that so much of the unmasked era is sorely missing. It kicks ass and holds up very well.        

Cringer line:  none.

04. Rise To It (Hot in the Shade)

In spite of the super cool, swampy acoustic intro to this song, we’re starting to get into some trouble here. I ranked this one a (relative) 8, which it probably isn’t. I think what really attracted me to it was the main riff that pretty much rips off one of my favorite Scorpions songs, “Loving You Sunday Morning.” The bridge almost redeems the song with the cool variation on the ascending notes in the second half and the back-and-forth vocals transitioning back into the final chorus, but not quite. Forgettable lyrics, predictable 80s arrangement.

Cringer Line:  Everytime he sings “ri-e-i-e-ise”  

05. Cadillac Dreams (Hot in the Shade)

Another polarizing song in the pre-draft, trash talking circles. I saw it as a sort-of rockabilly tune with a good, upbeat tempo and more-traditional rock and roll arrangement. If nothing else, it sets itself apart because it’s not predictable the way “Rise To It” is, though the lyrics are almost as forgettable. Imagine if they’d used real horns instead of the synths at the end? Knowing what we know today about Gene’s unquenchable thirst for wealth makes the chorus of  “Money, money, that’s what I need” a bit nauseating, but when you consider it from the perspective of a poor, seventeen year old kid from Queens, which is established in the first line, it’s a little easier to stomach. It’s a good filler track on my record, but it wouldn’t be the single.

Cringer line:  None

06. And on the 8th Day (Lick It Up)

The intro to this song sounds like it could have been on Quadrophenia. Great bass riffs under massive power chords and drum fills. It’s really powerful. In comes the signature one-string guitar riff and cliche-80s metal drum hits on every beat. Gene belts out a great vocal over terrible lyrics about how the evolution of rock and roll basically parallels The Greatest Story Ever Told. Turns out that's not exactly how it went down, but I believed it when I was 14. It still works as a kicking song, but like a lot of the KISS catalog, you have to chuckle when you listen to the words.  

Cringer Line: “Rock of ages carry the news to the heart of a brave new world, Feel the noise in the name of ROCK, let the heavens roar!”

07. I Just Wanna (Revenge)

A well executed, but predictable 80s-sounding hair-metal song with a terrible church-choir bridge that only serves to elevate the cringiness, though there may be some points in there for effort.  Vinnie Vincent gets a co-writer credit on this, and future drummer Eric Singer does some backups. Paul’s vocal is convincing and the beat is strong, but the elements of the song are just too generic to elevate it above anything released by the remaining hard rock bands grasping to stay alive in 1992.  

Cringer Line: “I'm gonna set the night on fire, shootin' like a Roman Candle, Ooh yeah, I'm burnin' with desire and I'm much too hot to handle”

08. Prisoner of Love (Hot in the Shade)

At this stage in the draft, choices were really thinning out. This isn’t Gene’s best vocal, and the mix doesn’t do him any favors, with the voice less prominent than it is on other records.  Once again, we’re in that familiar 80s hair metal cliche world, this time, the shuffle beat under the power chords trick used by everyone from RATT to Poison to Whitesnake ad nauseam. The high point in the song is the instrumental break after the guitar solo that wouldn’t have been out of place on a Judas Priest record. Sorry, but it’s not enough to save the song. There’s little edge here, too much time spent on harmonies and guitar fills and not enough on creating something that actually resonates.  

Cringer Line: None, really.  

09. Silver Spoon (Hot in the Shade)

This tune is maybe a notch above the previous two, if only because musically it’s more straight-ahead rock and not falling into those predictable musical cliches. Lots of open, ringing chords, a more standard arrangement, and attention-keeping transitions between the verses and choruses. The Stonsey backup singing women at the end lend a bit of class to the song that they should have used throughout - it would have really set the song apart from the rest of the album. They either lacked the imagination to try it or the guts to challenge their listeners that way. The lyrics are cliche-ridden and delivered with a vocal that’s not Paul’s best, at times reaching to hit the higher notes. Certainly not the low point of the unmasked era, but just a notch above filler. 

Cringer Line:  “I wasn't born with a silver spoon (whoah-oah-oah), nowhere to hide in a crowded room (whoah-oah-oah)”   

10. Love’s a Slap in the Face (Hot in the Shade)

Like Prisoner of Love, this isn’t Gene’s best vocal, and again, no help from the mix.  I hate the Na-Na-Na-Na Bon Jovi choruses, but I do like the melody change in the last line of the verse that takes it into the chorus. It reminds me of the chorus of “Lie to Me” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - an under-appreciated deep-cut from her Notorious record.  At this point I’m just grasping for positives to take from these songs. Other than that turnaround, there’s not much here to keep my attention.

Cringer Line: “Singin' na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na”  

11. Boomerang (Hot in the Shade)

This track kicks in at a great tempo and with some great Bruce Kulick licks. The energy is there for sure, making up for the lack of any memorable hooks or lyrics, with the double-kicker going throughout and a vocal cadence that keeps up pretty well, until the unnecessary breakdown before the guitar solo. The solo itself is cool with no bass for the first part. They lyrics recall that old gambling-sex metaphor that’s been done more than a few times.  Not bad for such a late pick, and one of the better tracks on Hot in the Shade.   

Cringer Line: “First you're cold and then you're hot, you're in the mood and then you're not, Yeah, I know I'll get a bang, 'cause you're like a boomerang”

12. Lonely is the Hunter (Hot in the Shade)

The poor, last picked track in the draft, just like me on my fourth grade kickball team. The title is stupid (though I love Lonely is the Night by Billy Squier), the lyrics are terrible, the riff and arrangement are forgettable, and the playing is uninspired. The guitar break before the solo is similar to the one after the solo in “Prisoner of Love” (above), but it’s not enough to lift this stinker from the bottom. This is why I gave up on them after Lick It Up.  

Cringer Line: “My eggs in one basket, but she threw me a bone - She was dealt a full deck, but she likes to live alone - Ain't just talkin' to myself, need a reason to stop (oh yeah) - With a flower in her teeth, she drained the last drop - I said girls love money like bees the honey”

___

Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos.     
www.thetucos.com

Follow them on Facebook to read his road blog about their adventures on the dive-bar circuit.
www.facebook.com/jeremyportermusic  

Twitter: @jeremyportermi | Instagram: @onetogive

www.rockandrollrestrooms.com

My KISS Record - by David Martin

To see full Unmasked draft results click here. Click here to see records selected by Colin Gawel and Scott Carr.

My KISS Record - by David Martin

Side One

King of the Mountain (Round No. 3)

Heaven's on Fire (2)

Betrayed (7)

When Your Walls Come Down (9)

Gimme More (8)

God Gave Rock and Roll To You II (5) 

Side Two

Lick It Up (1)

Under The Gun (4)

Trial by Fire (6) 

Bang Bang You (12)

Radar for Love (10)

You Love Me To Hate You (11) 

Comments

I was pleased "Lick It Up" was available with the sixth pick. Kiss lyrics are generally terrible, but "Don't want to wait till you know me better" is a great opening line. I should have taken "Tears Are Falling" with my next pick. My Gene songs are generic: "Trial by Fire" is a toe-tapper, but "Betrayed" is pretty forgettable.

I like the history of "God Gave Rock and Roll To You" more than I like the actual song. One of the flaws with my album is that "God Gave" is the only song from "Revenge" that I drafted. 

We were 15 years old when "Animalize" was released, so we may not have fully comprehended the line in "Under the Gun" about hitting the highway doing 69. I remember Joe Oestreich joking that he used to listen to the song and think, "Sixty-nine? That's not that fast."

"Bang Bang You" was the worst song on the worst set list Kiss ever took on tour. 

Kiss playing Bang Bang You Live